About the Episode:
In today’s episode, we dive deep into a topic that’s close to my heart – understanding what truly makes a man ‘good’. It’s not just about being strong or providing; it’s about emotional intelligence, being present, and understanding one’s emotions. I discuss the importance of patience in decision-making, the unacceptable nature of intimidating women, the value of kindness, admitting ignorance, resisting the urge to say “I told you so”, and respecting individual life choices. Remember, good men are out there, and they’re human. They might falter, but their core remains strong.
Listen to the podcast here:
Watch the episode here:
- Discover the six defining traits of a good man.
- Understand the importance of emotional intelligence in a man’s life.
- Learn why kindness is never wasted, even if it’s not acknowledged.
- Gain insights into the pitfalls of pride and the power of admitting ignorance.
- Find out if you or someone you know fits the ‘good man’ checklist.
Hey, what’s shakin, hey, I’m Rick Jordan. Today, we’re going all in. Today’s gonna be an interesting topic that we’re going to cover, it’s something that’s actually pretty near and dear to my heart because there’s this like, rage inside of me that comes up when I start to see a man, mistreating a woman or just a man being a dickhole to begin with. Okay, so today, I want to talk to you about some things about what I feel a good man is. So men listen up on this one because these could be things that could help you grow, maybe help you get past some things in your life, because it might not even be where you’re intentionally doing some of these things. And women also, please listen in because this might help you identify whether you’re with a good guy or not. Or whether you’re curious about if this really is a good man that you might want to be with or whatever your perspective, you’re looking at this from, because here’s the thing, there are good men out there. And you know what, there’s a lot of them, there’s a lot of good men that are out there, there’s not just one or two and thinking that you’re never going to find a good one. Or thinking that you’re never going to be a good one, you probably are a pretty good one already. And you might even be with a good one already.
But maybe not. And we’ll dive into a lot of that today. So what constitutes a good man, no straw, strong character, you know, able to provide all those things. And let’s go into some things that I like, so much to talk about, which comes down to emotional intelligence. That’s really what I’m talking about when it comes to being a good man, emotional intelligence, emotionally present, you know, men that are like retractors, like that, want to be macho and hide their emotions, I’m sorry, that’s not a good man. That’s somebody who’s trying to be somebody that they’re not. But at the same time, you want a man who is strong and conviction that can forge a path forward. So there’s a couple of things I’m going to give you, as far as what I see that are traits of a good man, and we’ll talk about them today.
There’s one thing in particular, that we’ll start with this as far as emotional intelligence goes. And well, I’ve always been able to pride myself in being able to make snap decisions on thanks. You know, it’s typically things that don’t have necessarily emotional involvement I’m talking typically the business when I can make super-fast decisions, and go go in a certain way, without too much thought process going into it. Because I’ve done it before, a million times, or been in that situation before I draw on previous experience and all that, but I’m what I’m talking about things that really matter in life, because a good man will always strive to be patient and calm in decision making. You can be fast, and still calm, you can be fast, and actually still be patient.
In some ways, if you’re drawing on previous experience, but a good man tries to be, they strive to be patient and calm in decision making because they understand that decisions that are made in a moment of impulse, especially when it comes to like emotional vulnerability or emotional times. That’s when bad decisions happen. So there’s a phrase that I use a lot that I tried to just rest on, is saying, you know when I’ll sleep on it because then you can actually process your stuff and let things sink in a little bit. And even if you made a decision today, and then you slept on it, and then something else tomorrow comes up, and you’re like, you know what, maybe I slept on it. And now I changed my mind also okay, but a good man strives to be patient and calm, not making decisions in a fit of anger or hurt, or whatever else that could cause him to be emotionally vulnerable in that moment and make a poor choice.
That’s the first one. So when you look back at your decisions, were they all made when you’re calm, I can say that they haven’t been that doesn’t mean that I’m a bad guy, or you’re a bad guy, or women that you’re with a bad guy. It’s just if it consistently happens, then you’ve got an issue because that would not be a good man. To me. A good man always strives to be this. What a good man is still human. Remember that a good man is still human. When you see the consistent patterns of these things, that becomes where the problem is. Alright, the second thing that I see in a good man’s character is, oh my gosh, this one. This one really gets me going. And this is one to where it could be a complete stranger. And I just want to go there and just pummel the guy in the head. Because this is just something that I don’t feel any man should ever do.
And that’s to derive joy from making a woman feel intimidated, whether that’s emotionally intimidated, physically intimidated, or whatever. If you’re doing that right now, just because it’s a mode of defensiveness for you, or because you feel like you need superiority, stop listening right now and go get yourself some help. Because that is just unacceptable. And this is something that gets me going all night Oh my God, even when it’s just a stranger. And I see a dude putting down a woman emotionally or physically and they feel in the woman feels intimidated in that moment. And the guy just has seen as like the little fucking smirks that come across their face in their moment that they’re like, I got you. See, I’m better than you who has no place on this planet. You should never breed you hear in me, if this is something that’s you, you should never breed.
Now that we’ve gotten that over, you know what the good guys are the ones that might say some bad things in some moments. However, their intentions are always good. They’re never there to make a woman feel less, inferior, or even Least of all intimidated. Their intention is to always build up and come to mutual reconciliation so that you can grow together because a good man derives no joy from making a woman feel intimidated. I hope you heard me on that one, loud and clear. All right. The third one is a good man knows that just because some people don’t respond well to kindness, it doesn’t mean that it’s wasted on them. Right? There are some people that have a hard time saying thank you. When you do something kind for them, there are some people who have a hard time acknowledging those things. But it doesn’t mean that a good man will just stop doing that because a good man will continue to be kind. Even in those moments. Now he may decide to be selective with his kindness, or maybe not go overboard, do like a 10x and normal kindness for somebody that doesn’t respond.
But that kindness is still not wasted. Especially for somebody who might have a lot of trauma in their life that’s maybe have their heart hardened, that has a wall up around their hearts. Because every little act of kindness can start to chip that away. A good man knows that just because some people don’t respond well to kindness doesn’t mean that that kindness is wasted. So keep going, guys. I love seeing these things. And you know what you hold the door for, for a woman. They don’t say thank you, this happens a lot to me. I hold doors a lot. They don’t say thank you. It’s okay. If you give a woman a gift, and they don’t say thank you, it’s okay. If you buy a woman a drink at a bar, and they don’t say thank you, it’s okay. Because you might have just been the best thing in that person’s life today. At some point that will sink in because it’s impossible, impossible for anybody to completely ignore kindness. They’re just responding to it poorly. Are you tracking with me? So you are a good man. The fourth thing is that a good man isn’t afraid to admit his ignorance.
Now, this isn’t something to where it’s admitting that you were wrong. That’s a whole nother thing. I’m talking admitting his ignorance, the ability to say, I don’t know. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Because a man that’s able to say I don’t know is actually being aware of where he’s at in himself. And it’s actually an indication of emotional intelligence and even just smarts, regular intelligence, it becomes aware that you don’t know something and admitting that you don’t know admitting your ignorance to something is actually amazing. Because the beginning of finding out that knowledge is just understanding that you don’t know it to begin with, you have that awareness. And this could even be very amplified in relationships, especially as you’re learning somebody, especially as something new comes up in an argument or a fight. And you discover something new about that person. And it is awesome in those moments to just say that you don’t know. Because really what you’re saying, in women when the dude says this, they’re really saying, I want to know you more. I want to hear more about this because I don’t know. And now that I’m aware that I don’t know. I know how to show up for you from this point. On.
That’s pretty awesome. The fifth thing is a good man, really, really resists. And I’ve talked about this before I dedicated a whole episode to this. Go back and listen to the links in the show notes, go back and listen to it. The words, the four words, I told you. So I don’t think that phrase has a belonging in any conversation whatsoever, let alone coming from a dude. A good man will never, ever use those words, even when he’s proven correct. Because it doesn’t matter. Go back and listen to episode what? Why does it matter? What’s so important about being able to tell that person and just pound it in that you were right? In that scenario? That’s stupid. Who cares? Because you can both use that moment as a pivot point in order to move forward and have the knowledge now. Imagine like with the previous one, when a dude said, I don’t know. If he doesn’t know, then he could have been wrong, right? Women Imagine telling a dude every single time Well, I told you, so how would that beat him down? So you if you’ve got a guy that’s able to say first, I don’t know. And also never says I told you. So. That’s a good dude.
That’s a really, really good dude. Oh, man, that’s incredible. The last one I’m giving you today about a good man is a good man knows that no amount of pride in his own life choices, gives him the right to force those choices upon somebody else. You’re tracking with me on that. So if you’re proud of something that you did in your life, which is actually a good thing, you should take pride in some good choices that you’ve made. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you should always take pride in those choices. But just because that choice was right for you, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s right for somebody else. Now a good man will say, hey, you know what, this worked for me? It could work for you. So why don’t you try this? And but still respecting the fact that it’s still that other person’s decision, especially if it’s a woman, then it’s her choice to actually do the same thing that you did. But you by all means, of course, bring it up.
But that pride that you have should never be forced on somebody else. Unless they ask for it. If they’re asking you to be like, hey, help me, come on, let’s do this. You know, like, keep me accountable. hold me to it. Awesome. Go for it. But don’t dive into that. supporting her decisions is respecting her decisions, but just giving her the way to say hey, you know what, this worked for me before, you might want to try this. That’s all good. And that is a good man. I hope you picked up a lot of things today because there’s a lot of good men out there. And remember this, they’re still human so they’re gonna mess up and all six of these things except for the one-second one that I was telling you about a good man deserves no joy from making a woman feel intimidated. Run, run, run, run, if that’s the case, and that’s somebody that you’re with right now. And if you are that person, you better do it. Like go sign somewhere in a corner and just whip yourself with a wet rag or something like that. Because now’s the time to make a change in your life to these six things. Identify what a good man is.
GO ALL IN.