Blame. Fault. Responsibility.

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What’s shakin? Hey, I’m Rick Jordan, and today we’re going all in. I was speaking at this event on Thursday nights, and this event, it’s a it’s a VIP dinner, that’s what it’s called. And it was probably about 50 entrepreneurs there. And I was on a panel, and I was on the panel with Tasha, something. I can’t remember her last name, but she’s an Olympic gold medalist. And Ryan, I don’t remember his last name, but he’s the CEO of Travis Matthew, the huge golf clothing company. And there was several others that were there too, and the audience would ask a question. Now, mind you, this is a high level event, okay? Because the people those are in the seats that come to this dinner pay $2,500 a piece to just be there for a dinner, that’s it, and just learn from people who are who are speaking, who are on the panel. It’s a great arena for just networking and forming connections and then also getting very intimate insight into things that you normally wouldn’t and you know, from personal experience, I love speaking to 1000s of people from a stage which I have, and at the same time, there’s benefits to that, just like there’s benefits to speaking in front of 50 people, or 20 people, or even 10 people at, like some of the sellers dinners that we do, because they all have their own uniqueness and benefits to the dynamics. So the question came across, because they’re asking the panel of people questions, and we would all answer.

 And the one that stuck out to me that I really talked about and went into heart and I kind of spoke a long time about, actually, I sort of like monopolized some of the time. Was what is the biggest lesson that you’ve learned in the last seven days? And for everybody on the division meeting in the company this morning, they heard what I said, but I’ll elaborate on it a little bit here, because they’re going down the line. And of course, some things, you know, some things kind of sounded a little cliche, you know, when I was listening to them, but I’m sitting there, I’m like, you know what first thing? And this is okay too. It’s like my brain was not so much there because of that previous week, because of everything that was hitting all at once in this perfect storm. You know, I get these moments too. I’m usually pretty on point, and I’m usually pretty focused, especially when I’m speaking. You know, I can go up and I can give a 30-minute keynote with just a three-minute notice when I fill in for people. I’ve done this before several times. One specifically I remember, was with Kevin Harrington. He was sick. Couldn’t be there. He’s like, Rick, can you go on for me? I’m like, Yeah, sure, no problem. So I go up there, that was maybe only like, a 20 minute notice. 

And at the time, Ashley Kedra, who was with us there, she was like, Oh my God, what are you going to speak about? What do you know? I’m like, I don’t know, but I know that I will get up there and I’ll be able to do that when I get there, and it’s because I’ve been on over 5000 stages when I took account, you know, over the last 25 years of my life, I’ve been on over 5000 stages, 5000 moments, to speak, to perform, to do whatever, in front of people. That’s the biggest reason. It’s like, everyone’s like, Oh, you’re so good at speaking. And even afterwards, Ryan, the CEO of Travis, Matthew, looks at me. He’s like, you know you speak, don’t you? And I’m like, Yeah, I do. And he’s like, Well, you can tell the ones up there who are professional speakers and the ones that weren’t, I’m like, well, thank you. I appreciate the compliments. But that’s the reason, literally, that’s the reason is because I’ve been on so many stages and so many podcasts and performing in front of so many people, so many times, that a lot of this becomes natural, and it’s just a muscle, you know? 

It’s the same reason why I can go on news media, you know, nationwide media, in front of over 2 million viewers for any particular segment, and they’ll give me what they want me to talk about, you know, an hour and a half before, which has happened many, many times, and they’ll send me an article over and say that, you know, from the Associated Press, or from Forbes or from the Wall Street Journal, say this is what we’re basing our segment off of, like, can you give us some talking points? I’m like, give me 10 minutes. That’s it, and I’ll review the article, and I’ll consume the information. Be like, Okay, I got it, and then I’ll send it back to him. Then I go in the air, and it sounds like I’ve been talking about this and rehearse this thing for probably 50 times before I did that, like I’ve done the same thing, because it just sounds natural. So in this moment, though, this was quite the contrast for me, because I’m sitting up there, I had just landed, you know, maybe about an hour and a half prior, or something like that, and I’m in traffic right from LAX to this dinner, and I’m just not there. My brain’s not there. And I’m hearing the question. I’m like, man, what did I learn this past week? 

What was my biggest lesson this last week? So now I’m like, trying to come up with stuff and everything, you know, and in the moment, I’m trying to be like, how do I provide value to these people that are here? Because, I mean, these people paid $2,500 Dollars each Seriously, that’s a that’s a conversation that I have with myself every single time, because it’s not about me making money or making the connections when I’m up there, because that’s like a byproduct, or that’s that’s totally like, like an afterthought, because it’s just a natural thing that happens at some of these and this is important to remember, because anytime you’re talking with a customer. Anytime you’re in a sales engagement with a prospect, anything like that, it’s like the natural things that are supposed to happen will happen as long as you show up right to begin with, and you’re approaching this with, I want to be able to provide as much value as possible. So for me, it’s like I’ve got all these people staring at me, you know? And it’s a little different, because remember how I talked about, like, big stages, I’ve spoken performed in front of 1000s of people at a time. Sometimes that is a lot easier from somebody who is a professional speaker. That is a lot easier, because you don’t have to, like, single in you don’t feel like you’re being zeroed in by any one particular person. 

When you’ve got a smaller room of 50 people, it’s like, Man, I feel like all 50 sets of eyes are on me right then, you know, and you can see that as people are just looking up at you, and they’re looking for you to change your life, change their lives in a moment. That’s why they’re there, is because they’re looking for that one little piece of information that will make tomorrow different from today. So as I think, thankfully, thankfully, that’s a word, right? Thankfully. As this is going down, I was the last person on the on this small panel, so I’m trying to think, I’m racking my brain. It’s like, how do I provide value to these people? And then it gets to the point to where it’s like, the third person, and I’m like, one more from that. I’m like, You know what? Fuck it. That’s all I said. I’m just going to be completely vulnerable, instead of trying to come up with something inspirational for these people and be like, Oh, here’s the great positive lesson and everything it gets to me. And I say my biggest lesson from the last week is that sometimes optimism doesn’t cut it. You know. Now I also said it’s like, because they introduced me in this community, like, this is like, one of our fan favorites, of people in this because it’s David Melters community. He’s like, this is one of our fan favorites, Rick Jordan, come on up here. And it’s like, talk about the pressure. I don’t care about the pressure. 

It doesn’t matter, but that’s how I’m introduced at this dinner was like, it’s our fan favorite. This guy’s always inspirational and motivational. So now I’m sitting here at the end of this thing, I’m like, You know what? Sometimes, sometimes it’s okay. Even though I’m an extremely optimistic person, unchecked optimism is a problem. And although I say, Hey, we’re always going to get through this. And no, here’s the positive spin on something like this. I’m good at that, and I can get people through it, but at the same time, I can be direct. And in this moment, I’m direct with myself, and I say, You know what, in the past seven days, the biggest lesson that I’ve learned is to allow yourself in the moments you need to, to just say, Man, this sucks. What I am going through right now. Sucks. And then I raise my hand, because a lot of these people are into like, self-motivation and self-growth, self-improvement, you know, which is the world of Tony Robbins. Everybody knows who Tony Robbins is. I’m like, How many of you have heard the Tony Robbins quote? You know, life is not happening. And they all start repeating it like they knew where I was going with this. 

Because the quote, if you haven’t heard it, is, life isn’t happening to you. It’s happening for you. And they’re, you know, and everybody’s like chanting this, because they knew what it was. I didn’t even have to say it. They knew it. And then at the end, when they start saying it, life isn’t happening to you. It’s happening for you. And I said, Well, I love Tony, that’s a bunch of bullshit, because it is very true to me that there are some times that life happens to you. And one of the other speakers was just talking about getting diagnosed with stage four cancer, you know? And I just got off the phone with a friend of mine, who’s a private investigator, who just found out that his dad, literally, over this past weekend, has stage four cancer. And I’m looking at this other speaker that’s there. I’m like, you tell me your first thought when you were diagnosed and told you got stage four cancer, it wasn’t Oh, well, I’ve got six months to live. Yay. I’m gonna do all this stuff in six months. Or, you know what? Oh, I get to get all my affairs in order. That way my kids are taken care of. It’s like, no, in that moment, you’re like, Jesus sucks. You think that when my dad died when I was 16, then, I was like, Oh, fantastic. 

I’m going to have so many amazing learnings from this and touch millions of people in the world because of this right here. No, I didn’t realize that until 10 years later, because it’s important to understand that in the moments, it is okay to allow yourself to be the reality. And say, this sucks,because the only way you’re ever going to get to something better is if you acknowledge where you’re at right now. And there’s an important part of this too. There’s an important part of part of acknowledgement. And this is what I’m talking about my lesson, right? Because there can be blame, there can be fault. And I mentioned this in my talk too. There can be blame, there can be fault, but blame and fault are past tense. Blame and fault are past tense. They only apply to what happened, because when in the spirit of Yes, things can happen to you in life, there are likely people that you can blame or things that you can blame for what has happened to you, absolutely legitimate blame and fault do apply. It’s okay to place blame and fault to people, to things, to whatever happened, because that’s the key, is that it happened. It’s past tense. Blame and fault apply, and they are past tense. But when you start to get into that mode because you think you might be scared or something like that. It’s like, no, no. 

That’s this is where regret keeps in, creeps into because regret is the thing that keeps you stuck on the blame and the fault, because the only thing that’s present tense and leading into tomorrow, it isn’t blame and fault. Blame and fault will keep you in the past, as long as you continue to focus on those things and what did happen, I’ll blame this. So this is what happened, and this is why. This is who did this to me. This is what hit me unexpectedly. Now to move forward, it’s responsibility. Responsibility is for the future. Responsibility is for the present, because you can blame people. You can hold people at fault, however, for where you’re at right now and where you’re going to the future, is responsibility. If you are stuck on the blame and fault, you are not taking responsibility for what’s going to come tomorrow. So it is important, and this is the biggest lesson that I learned in the last seven days that I was talking about. It is important to say in the moment, man, this sucks, and it’s okay to say that, but then the responsibility is what moves you towards the optimism. 

The responsibility is what relieves your depression. The responsibility is what relieves your anxiety. Because responsibility, it is imperative, and it is completely connected with doing something, meaning taking some kind of action, meaning stepping into something. And this is what I talked about, too. It’s like, as a CEO, I looked right at Ryan. I’m like, Ryan, you’re the CEO of a company. It’s like you can relate to me with this, because in these moments of turmoil, of chaos, of things, when there’s blame and fault and things can happen to you that as the leader, a lot of people look towards you for the next steps, and I’m saying vulnerably. It’s like sometimes you don’t know the next steps plural. You don’t know the next five things that happen, you don’t know what the actual outcome is going to be. This is true for me as a CEO. This is true for Ryan as a CEO of a public company. This is true in just your personal life is sometimes you just don’t know what it’s going to look like. And there is no possible way it’s impossible for you to know exactly what it’s going to look like when you don’t know those steps what you can always figure out, and this is the responsibility, what you can always figure out.

And your responsibility is to take whatever step is in front of you right now, that one single next step that’s in front of you right now and that keeps you anchored in the present, not in the past and the blame and the fault, and not in the future, where your future pacing towards like,  Oh, we’re going to get there someday, you know, because that removes your responsibility from right now in this present to take that next step that you need. And those were some of the conversations this morning, too. So what I talked about last week was applied today, saying, like, we don’t even know. So it’s like, hey, you know we need to have a follow-up meeting in three days, three days to talk about this. We have our next step is to research some of this information, and then we’ll figure out what the next steps 234567, are after that in your personal life, we you will figure out what the next 234567, steps are after you take that first step, because that is responsibility, and that is what anchors you to right now and actually gives you freedom from your depression, from your anxiety, from your worry, from everything else that’s turmoil in you right now, because when you have movement, you Have release. When you are stuck, you are bound.