Get Out of Your Own Head

Watch the episode here:

• Learn why trying to help people who don’t want to get better is destroying your peace.
• Discover how chronic venting is actually keeping you stuck in toxic cycles.
• Find out why words mean nothing without matching actions and behavior.
• Understand how blaming others is just serving your ego and keeping you victim.
• Get the exact framework to stop being stuck and start taking your power back.

What’s shakin’? Hey, I’m Rick Jordan, and today we’re going all in. There are four truths that I’m gonna give you today that are going to completely change your life. Get you out of this position of being stuck. Get you moving forward. Get you probably help you bring closure to some scenarios that were in your life, and just get you out of your own head. So if that’s something that sounds like you, you know, even if it’s not, I know right today, there will be moments in your life where some of these things will hit home. So stick with me. Listen to everything I’ve got to say today, and just watch this amazing weight be lifted off you today. I’m excited for this, because these are, these are some things that I’ve noticed in my life that have tremendously helped me. And it’s four truths. Some of them can be a little harsh and a little direct, but they’re real, and they’re here to keep you moving. The first one is that I learned this. Some of this was like with haters a long time ago, and I just did an episode around haters and compassion and but the realization that actually helped me come to a moment of compassion with haters is that this first truth here is not everyone wants to get better, and it’s sad. 

It sucks, especially when you’re an empathetic person like me or an empathic person like me. I almost feel like other people; I feel their hurts. I feel that they’re stuck, and I just want so badly, because it’s like bringing truth to the world is one of my biggest purposes and one of my biggest whys, that I just want to be like, Hey, it’s right here, and, like, slap them upside the head, literally, like, physically turn them around to go in a different direction. But you can’t do that. You know, almost nobody is able to manipulate people in that way. Even with the best intentions, people have to want to do something with the truth that is staring them in the face, and those who don’t want to do something decide to just turn their eyes to it, put on blinders, or put on a blindfold. Even though it’s staring them right in the face, they still ignore it. And the reason is this: the first truth is that not everyone wants to get better. Why is it? It takes effort. It takes energy. It takes going into unfamiliar territory, because you have to get uncomfortable, and you actually have to take a look, a hard look at yourself, which makes you uncomfortable. 

As far as what you might be doing to screw your life up, or what you’re doing to other people in the moment, making them feel crazy, stupid crap, right? That’s the hardest thing to do, so it’s a lot easier to just not make a change. It’s a lot easier to just brush aside a desire to get better because of all the work that has to be put into it. So the first truth is, not everyone wants to get better, and I’ll add this tail onto it too. Not everyone wants to get better right now. It could be at some point in the future that they’ll want to be; that could be five years down the road, that could be 15 years down the road, or that could be 27 years down the road that they finally decide that they want to get better, and that’s up to them to grapple with, not you. It sucks, especially when you’re a compassionate human being, which I think a lot of people who listen to this show are, because you want to get better. That’s why you listen to the show, right? Is because you want to get better. You’re the people that want to get better, but people around you—a lot of them, harsh truth—not everyone wants to get better, and that’s okay, so keep doing what you’re doing, and let that bring you some closure to whatever it is that you’ve gone through or you’re going through, because it’s a truth to let sink into your heart right now, because it’s your choice to have that not affect you anymore, that whoever it is that’s around you, maybe even super close to you, wants to get better. 

They might not want to get better; that’s okay, because it’s not going to hold you back anymore, right? The second one is that, as you’re looking at this, right, maybe somebody says they want to or whatever. Yeah, words are actually pretty hollow unless they’re followed with action or behavior, because behavior and action are really the only two true communicators. This doesn’t mean that words don’t hurt, because words do hurt very, very much. Words can hurt just as much as they help, but they can also bring hope. Words can hurt, and they can bring hope, no but after that, regardless of what it is, even if it’s in the moment and somebody says something that hurts you deeply, you can start to look at their actions and their behavior after that, they apologize, and they shift. That hurt will most definitely heal if someone brings you hope with the words that they’re saying, take a look at their behaviors and actions after that to see if they line up with what they say, because that’s. A true communicator. They might if you hang on to those words of hope for too long; this is like a time-based thing. 

And give yourself a time frame, right? If you hang on to those words of hope, that behavior, and those actions, they are the true communicators that will show you, right? And then it’s awesome, because then you can be like, Oh man, my hope is justified. That’s cool. Or you can say, Man, you know what? Not really following through. They say that they want to, but maybe they really don’t want to change, or whatever it is, because the actions and the behaviors after the fact are communicating very differently, regardless of whatever direction somebody chooses to go and what actions they take or inaction, because inaction is still a choice to take no action. Did you hear that inaction is still a choice to take no action? Not changing is still a choice to actually not want to change? That’s the decision that’s being made. So words are hollow. Behavior is the true communicator. That’s number two. Here’s something for you, not other people, because you might have something going on in your life; a lot of us do right at any given moment. There’s something that’s just funky and that we wish wasn’t going on, or maybe something that is going on right that we don’t want to, and venting about something that’s happened or that is happening is good as a release. 

It very much is, and you find somebody who can hold that space for you in order to get it off your chest. And sometimes, like, man, that feels so good; I was just able to release that in the moment. But that’s the key that leads into number three right here, because number three is chronic venting keeps you stuck in cycles. Chronic venting keeps us stuck in cycles. It keeps bringing us back to that stuff. So, as you can continue to complain about a situation, or you continue to complain about an individual, you are the one that I’m talking about, and number one, you really don’t want, want to get better. Because if you remember, I was talking about like that. It can be a release, a good, healthy release event, but that’s what it actually means, to release it, meaning you are not holding it, harboring it anymore. So if you use venting, use venting as a tool with somebody who’s willing to hold that space for you, and then that’s it. You released it. It’s gone out of your sphere, out of your mind, and out of your soul. You’ve released it in that moment. Because if you just vent, and then you go back and you vent about it again to somebody else, or you go back and vent about it again five more times to the same person, about the same person, or about the same situation, that keeps you stuck in your cycle. End of story. 

The third harsh truth today is that chronic venting keeps us stuck in our cycles. So use venting as a tool with somebody who is willing to hold the space for you as a true and very real release. That’s the healthy way to use that. The last one I have, number four for you today, is that blaming others only serves your ego. It may very well be it’s the other person’s fault. They did something to you, made you feel something bad, or did something right that wasn’t your fault, that maybe didn’t affect you at all, right? But blaming other people only serves your ego and blocks you from creating the life that you want. If you’re blaming someone else for the situation that you’re in right now, maybe they got you to that point, right, but blaming them for what you still are in is only serving your own ego, and this is what we call playing a victim. Yes, ego is directly tied to being a victim, because it’s all about you. That’s what you’re making right now. 

In that scenario, that person, whatever it becomes, is all about you; that’s not cool, and it’s keeping you away. It is blocking you from creating the life that you want, creating the life that you actually choose; you’re giving power away to the other person and making yourself a victim for the purpose of your own ego. That’s number four: Blaming others only serves your ego. So how do you break out of that? This is the harsh truth. If you make a choice, you do something different. Instead of blaming that person, choose to change whatever it is that you have the power over. You take back that power, and you are no longer a victim. When you take action, when you change behaviors, you are no longer a victim. This should hit hard today, because these are things that will change your life. Go back and listen to this again and again at least three more times for these four truths that will completely give you a shift in the coming days. Go all in you.