About the Episode:
I was out at a Brazilian steakhouse (Texas de Brazil style—gauchos, the whole meat parade), and I watched a table of eight guys while their server explained specials and how the restaurant works. Only one of them gave the server eye contact. One. And I see this everywhere—restaurants, hotels, Uber rides—people acting like the person serving them is invisible, or worse, beneath them. That’s disrespect, plain and simple. Here’s what hit me: I asked my server, Paulo, about it—and he flipped the perspective. He told me a lot of the “wall” isn’t always put up by the customer; sometimes the server’s energy creates the distance when they treat the interaction like a transaction instead of an experience. And when I thought about it, he’s right—great service is about creating comfort, connection, and an atmosphere you actually enjoy being in. That’s what hospitality is. It’s not just “taking orders,” it’s guiding the room. So I’m going to say it with my whole chest: I don’t tip under 20%. Twenty per cent is “you did your job, thank you.” And if you create an amazing experience—if you show up with energy, attention, and pride—you’re getting 25%. Servers depend on tips, and if you can afford to go out, you can afford to respect the people making your night enjoyable. Look them in the eye. Engage. Be present. And if you’re not going to tip well or treat people like humans… stay home.
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Episode Topics:
- This episode will check your mindset the next time you go out to eat.
- Rick breaks down why eye contact is basic respect—and why it’s disappearing.
- You’ll hear a server’s perspective that will change how you think about “service.”
- It’s a simple code: be present, be grateful, and tip like you mean it.
- If you want better experiences everywhere you go, start here.
Participate in that experience and show your gratitude by showing eye contact and tipping. Well, if you’re not going to tip well, if you’re not going to show up and allow that person to do what they’re there to do, just stay home. Today I’m going to talk about a little experience that I had the other night and give you something that’s an observation around servers and restaurants and really anybody in the hospitality industry. And I see this anywhere that I go, with hotels, with restaurants, with even Uber drivers for that matter, right? And I know some people don’t like to have conversations or whatever, but when somebody’s talking to you, it’s a good thing to pay attention to them, and even more so, just give them eye contact. This is something that I notice at a restaurant. It’s a restaurant that I go to all the time, and typically when this happens, I like to form relationships with servers and restaurants that I’m at a lot, whether it’s in my hometown of Chicago or when I travel to destinations quite often, like Sarasota or Orlando, Vegas or New York. You know, I like having those relationships with people at the restaurants with management, because it helps them feel good. And I appreciate good service too. I absolutely appreciate good service.
But I was at a restaurant, Texas De Brazil. You know, phenomenal. If you’ve been to Fogo de Chow, it’s, it’s a Brazilian steakhouse, you know, just amazing. They bring the meat to you at the table. They cut them off right there. They carve them, you know, love myself some beef ribs there, some flank steak, of course, some filet. Just an amazing restaurant. But even more so, I love the atmosphere there, because the service is just so good, just amazing. I mean, the gauchos are the ones that are running around and, you know, trying to make sure that you have all the meats that you want. And, I mean, it’s been like a meat parade at times that I’ve been there. It’s just absolutely incredible when you’ve got, like, Gaucho after Gaucho after Gaucho, one with filet, one with flank steak, one with beef ribs, one with chicken wrapped in bacon, one with bacon-wrapped jalapenos. You know, just, just right away, they’re always there for you, and it’s always, Hey, I’m gonna get you a clean plate. And the servers work as a team there. It’s incredible because even though one person is assigned to your table as your primary server, they’re just all working in concert to give the customers the best possible experience. Now it’s a little bit of a different scenario. So in this restaurant, they explain to you, if you’ve never been to one before, how it works, because it’s different, right? You don’t get a meal that’s delivered to you, and then that’s your meal, right? You actually have this little flipper thing that is red and green, and when it’s green, it says, Hey, stop by my table with the meats. When it’s red, it says, just pass me by because I’m eating right now, or I’m taking a break, whatever it is, I’m enjoying my time with family, friends, just talking, so just let us be for the time being. Now, whenever a server, I was watching this table of about eight people, all dudes, right? And I don’t know if this matters or not, I haven’t recognized that before, but out of this table of eight dudes, while the server was saying, you know, like the wine that they had on special and one of their Brazilian drink specialties, and explaining how this whole process works at this very unique type restaurant, there was just one dude out of eight that was actually giving eye contact to The server, and I even put it up on my story on Instagram, because I see this all the time. You know, even people that I’m with, you know, if you’re looking at the menu or whatever.
Now, if the server’s pointing something out, and literally, I’ve had servers like say, hey, flip to page five, and then they’ll point it out for you. So it’s almost like it’s a presentation companion for them, right, as they’re talking about something, but when they’re giving you specials and asking you what you want, frickin look them in the eye. Okay, they are there to serve you, and that’s disrespectful to them, you know? And it’s probably the same people, because I find out a lot, too, that there’s not a lot of good tippers that are out there. And this is one of the reasons I’m not joking you that when I’ve been to another one called chama Gaucho, which they’re more or less prominent, but I’ve had servers just see me walk in the door and literally, like, jump over people to try to come and say hello and make sure that I sit at their table, because they go above and beyond for me, because I tip Well, I appreciate their service. You know what it’s you know even individuals are, I’ve been with people where they’re like, You know what? I’m not going to order as much, or I’m not going to order desserts, I’m not going to order coffee, I’m not going to order that after dinner, drink.
I’m not going to order an appetiser, because I just want to keep the bill down right. And that’s so crazy, because you’re there enjoying a good time because of your server, I never think about. Ways to save money, or anything like that. I’m actually always trying to think of ways to drive up the bill, to make it higher. And even this night, you know what, I had two glasses of wine when I was sitting there, just two glasses this night, you know? And I actually felt kind of bad because I didn’t order a bottle. Nobody else at the table was drinking alcohol, and I was covering the bill. So I’m like, You know what? Afterwards? I’m like, I don’t really want, you know, should do? I want to Scotch afterwards, because I love Scotch. I don’t really feel like it tonight, which is okay, by the way, don’t ever feel pressured for something like this one. Like, you know what dessert I could know I really don’t feel like that tonight. It’s during the week. I try to save some of those indulgences for the weekend, just so I can do everything in moderation and stay fit and healthy. I still enjoy my fair share of desserts, but I just don’t do it every day. Okay? But then I’m thinking, I was like, You know what? Something like coffee would be great, and espresso would be amazing.
So I’m actually trying to actively think of ways, not because I feel pressured by the server, but because they’ll offer things, right? That’s their job, and they do that because, yes, it increases their tip, and they’ll offer those things. But this is what sales is, hands down. Sales is being able to provide something to somebody else that they either want or need. And sometimes it doesn’t happen unless you ask the question, Hey, would you like this right now, they didn’t even ask me, right? They’re like, what would you like after dinner? Drink? And they know me, right? Do you want a McAllen 15? A McAllen 18? I’m like, No, I don’t feel like that tonight. Well, how about some dessert? Mr Jordan, no, not tonight. You know, I don’t feel like that tonight. I’m like, you know what? I’ll have an espresso. And because of that, because the service was so great. And it’s also something that sounded good. It was a way that he could continue to do his name, Paulo, by the way, this server that Paulo could continue to provide me with amazing service, which is actually something he loves to do, and also give me something that I want, while simultaneously adding something to the bill so that his tip could be even greater. I love to bless people that way, especially when they’re doing an amazing job. So then he brings me my espresso, and I ask him a question, like Paulo. I look around, and I see this all the time. I see this in restaurants. I see this in hotels with people at the check-in line that they actually won’t even look at the hotel employee at the front desk or even the concierge in the eye to have a conversation with you, almost like they’re above them in some kind of way.
And during this, I’m actually talking directly to him, you know. And it’s interesting because Paulo moved from chama Goucher, that one restaurant I told you about, over to Texas State, Brazil, and it’s awesome because he’s able to still serve me there, and we have good conversations, just like this one Mike, I was looking at this table Paulo, and out of these eight dudes, there was just one individual, one awesome, respectful guy who is looking his server in the eye, and I asked him, like, you see that a lot, don’t you? Where did this happen? And I’m like, I hate seeing this because I think it’s disrespectful and it almost puts yourself, you know, minimizing the other person, or, like, creating this separation of class or something like that, between customer and server, when you’re there to enjoy a good time, and that person is there to have a good time, making sure that you have a good time. You know it’s an amazing reciprocal effect of energy and intention, and a sign of respect when you can just look your server in the eye and enjoy that time right there. And he’s like, You know what? And he actually corrected me in this moment, because I see this a lot, and I was like, holy cow, man. I never thought of it this way.
You know, I really think it has to do with the server. He goes because I talk to people. I have conversations with them. I don’t just walk them and be like so what do you want to drink? You know, even if I were to say hello, what do you want to drink tonight? And then that’s the end of it, and they’ll just go away and then come back, bring your drinks. Is really no engagement from the server. They don’t really actually create that atmosphere that I’m talking about, where they can have not only a good time with the people they’re with at the table, but a good environment and a good atmosphere and a good time in that location, in that restaurant. And he goes on and on. He’s like, you know, I see this a lot, you know? And this is what I try to train people on the most, because he’s been in the food service industry for a long time. Is actually creating this atmosphere of comfort, rest, and enjoyment for his customers that he serves. And he takes pride in doing this, too. He’s like the wall is not usually put up by the people sitting at the table. The wall is usually put up by the servers, and how they bring their energy. Be at that table to begin with, and he goes, You know what? And the tips are reflected in that, too.
Now, as I started to reflect on what he was saying, and looking back in my own experience, it’s like, yeah, you know, I will never tip below 20% Do you hear that? And I always, I actually love now that there are those, the payment tablets that they’ll bring to you take your table, that they will have the tips starting at 18% or something like that, or even 20% is the low number, and you can always put in a custom one if you want to be cheap, right? But they start them at 20%, and then they’ll go to 22 and 25. I love that, right? Because 25 makes it easy for me to just tap a button rather than do the quick math in my head. I never, ever tip below 20% 20% is like, cool. You did your job. Thank you. And then if you create an amazing atmosphere for me, you get 25% because the servers depend on these tips. Guys absolutely depend on them, even the gauchos that come around. It’s not even in that, but I’ve had gauchos at these restaurants take such good care of me that they look forward to coming back. And actually, some of them, even at this restaurant, listen to this show right here, because they see how I am, off camera, off microphone, that I actually walk what I do. So what I’m telling you right now is exactly what I do when I’m out there in the world and doing life.
This isn’t just stuff that I ever spew into a microphone and expect people to listen just because it sounds good. No, it’s stuff that I actually practice and do myself, because I believe in it, and I believe that people who are there to serve you by choice, by the way, they have that job by choice to be there. They’re obviously not slaves. They are there by choice to provide a good service to you, so you need to respect them, and you will get better service because of that, too, because you engage with them. So don’t be a dick hole and sit there when you’ve got somebody who’s engaging with you and being so pleasant to you and just saying, just leave me alone. If you wanted to be left alone, don’t even go out, if you’re going to go out, enjoy the time and understand that just because you had a rough day at work too, that person is now at work for you, and you can have an enjoyable time because that person is working for you, and you can be grateful for it, and you can one look them in the eye when they’re talking to you, have a good conversation when they bring that Pleasant energy, because it’s really on them, as I learned from Paulo, to create that environment for you.
But when they do that, man, when they do that, you can tip them well. You can order extra things, even if you’re not going to eat them, because if you order a dessert, I’ve done this many times, you can just box it up right away and take it home and eat it two days later. If you save those kinds of things for the weekends, like I do most of the time. I say most of the time because my daughter’s a good baker, she just has stuff going all the time, and I still indulge, okay, during the week. That’s a little aside. But anyway, you can actually participate in that experience and show your gratitude by showing eye contact and tipping. Well, if you’re not going to tip well, if you’re not going to show up and allow that person to do what they’re there to do, just stay home. Otherwise, you can have an amazing time, and you can play an amazing part in this society, in this economy, in relationships, and forge these things to where people start to look forward to you walking into their establishments, because not only are they there to lift you up, which now they love to do, because they know that you appreciate what they’re doing for you.