I Take Full Accountability” – Now What?

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What’s shaking? Hey, I’m Rick Jordan, and today we’re going all in. Have you ever heard somebody say, Oh, you know what? I take full accountability, or that’s on me, you know? Oh, it’s my fault, right? And they seem sincere in the moment. They absolutely seem sincere in the moments, but then it’s like, the question is, where does it go from there? I’ve always thought about this. It’s like, because, you know, if somebody is really taking full accountability, we’ve got, like, this accountability canvas in the office that’s like, “Do it, own it, solve it,” right? And those three things alone, they’re not words that you say, right? They’re actually actions. Because true accountability is about taking action. Though you can, you can say, “I take full accountability,” all you want. And when someone tells you this, always follow that up with a question, like, “Cool.” So what are you going to do now? It’ll stun them. I promise you it will stun them when they say, Oh, that’s on me. I take full accountability. Okay, so what does that mean? That’s another good question. What does that mean? Oh, well, it’s my fault. I’m not worried about what fault it is, or whose fault it is, or placing blame. 

That’s great that you’re taking accountability, but now, what are you going to do? Those are the follow-up questions, because here’s really what it’s actually supposed to be: really expressing self-awareness about their behaviors and moving forward with integrity. That’s action, right? And that’s what you should do too, because if something’s on you, expressing self-awareness is saying, like, “I take full accountability,” but then it’s the follow-up. This is actually this, like five points of me, and this is number one. I just really dove right in today, you know, expressing that self-awareness about your behaviors, or that other person with their behaviors, and then moving forward with integrity. Now, to me, when it says “moving forward,” obviously that makes sense. But integrity is about changing something about your behaviors, right? We’ve heard the definition of insanity time and time again is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same results or the same outcome, right? So integrity is saying, “You know what, I took accountability,” but moving forward in integrity with integrity is saying that my actions will be different starting right now. 

That’s the difference. My behaviors will be different starting right now. Because, number two, it’s way more than saying it, because it’s also making a plan of action to ensure that the issue doesn’t happen again. That’s part of what that integrity is, right? So the first one is expressing that self-awareness. That’s the first thing, so that you can move forward with integrity. But the second thing is you make a plan of action to ensure that the issue doesn’t happen again. Now, this isn’t expecting perfection, so if somebody says this to you, trust that they’re going to potentially make a mistake again like this, because it takes a little bit to rewire the brain to put that action into something that is consistent action, right? And that’s the difference here, right? There is consistency in that action, and it’s a little hard to get on that track. You know? It’s you who has to go down that route first, and you might slip up again. But at least there’s the awareness that exists from number one that we’re talking about today, and then there’s making that plan of action so that doesn’t happen again. If this is somebody that works for you, or maybe you work for somebody else, and you can take accountability for this and say, or even in a relationship, and say, This is my plan of action going forward. 

This is answering that question that I asked at the beginning, right? So when you hear, Oh, I take full accountability,” or “That’s on me,” or you’re saying that, that question is, “Well, cool, what does that mean? ” What are you going to do now? You’re already preempting those questions if you want to be in integrity by making that plan of action to ensure that the issue doesn’t happen again. Right? Number three, this is huge, okay? Is it that you have to acknowledge your role in the situation and be accepting of the consequences from whatever happened? Right? You’ve heard the phrase “it takes two to tango,” right? You’ve heard that, you know, it’s always two people that get into an argument, or two people or more that have a disagreement, right? Acknowledging your role in that situation, and even if you are just simply a part of it and somebody else has wronged you, and they’re the ones that are saying, I take full accountability,” they’re telling you that you still have to understand and be aware of and acknowledge your role in that situation, because maybe there was just some expectation that you brought right that wasn’t met. Because it’s very possible this happens in relationships all the time. 

It’s very possible that you did not communicate your needs or expectations appropriately. So then how can that person possibly read your mind? Right? So even though they’re saying, I take full accountability,” because now in the midst of that conflict, now you understand what they’re looking for, what that person they know, that of you now, however, you might not have brought that to the party to begin with, so they were going in there really at a disadvantage. So even though they’re saying, I take full accountability, I understand where you’re coming from now I’m making a plan of action so that it doesn’t happen again. I’m glad we’re on the same page at the same time, acknowledging your role, even then, even though you weren’t necessarily the one that was hurtful or causing any wrong, you might not have communicated your expectations and needs appropriately. So acknowledging your role, whether it’s whether you’re the one that’s taking the accountability or not, right, whether it’s you or the other person, you still have to acknowledge your role in the scenario. 

Number four is actually something I started into already, because it’s being able to recognize and own how your actions have hurt others, right, instead of deflecting and blaming, so that’s what I’m saying. Even though somebody says it, I take full accountability. Oh, you know what? my actions—you know I really didn’t communicate properly. So then you can mutually take accountability for that. That person knows what your needs are now, but you can take that and say, You know what, I’m sorry that I hurt you in this moment because I didn’t actually communicate my needs. I didn’t communicate my expectations. I’m really sorry that I hurt you, really, by my inaction. I’m going to communicate my needs and my expectations from here on out, because I can’t expect you to be a mind reader. That’s number four, which is being able to recognize and own how your actions have hurt others. Deflecting and blaming has no place in any kind of conflict. Not at all. You can use a lot of “I” statements to recognize how you feel in that scenario and what your experience was in that situation. 

But deflecting and blaming, you know, if somebody asks you a question, then you immediately ask the same question back like you’re parroting to them, guys, that’s immature; don’t do that. That’s deflecting, right? And then that becomes blame in the scenario too. Recognize and own your role in this so that you can recognize how your actions have hurt that other person, right? And then the fifth one, as far as what to do beyond just saying I take full accountability,” is making a genuine effort to make things better, right, not to face or save face, or to continue to manipulate, but really to be just a better human overall. That’s what you’re trying to do here. Because when you’re in any kind of conflict and somebody says, “This is work,” or “This is relationships, is whatever you’re really trying to push through it together. I’ve said this a lot: there’s no competition in relationship conflicts. And this isn’t just romantic relationships. 

This is employment relationships. This is business. There’s no way to move forward with that to where somebody wins and somebody loses, because I always think that that’s a scenario, especially in romantic relationships, where if it’s a win-lose to somebody, then it’s really a lose, because there’s no genuine effort. Then at that point, then it’s just like, I need to be right. Somebody once told me this a long time ago. It’s like, well, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Everything that I’ve talked to you about today is about the ladder, is about resolution, about reconciliation, when you have some kind of conflict with someone to where you can come back and get on the same page, on the same road together, moving forward in the same direction, or, you know, sometimes maybe even opposite directions. 

That could be the resolution that you come to, like, all right, it’s now time to go back-to-back and split ways. Time to end that business agreement, time to end that relationship, time to divorce, time to move on from that job into something else and find something better for you that can happen, but at the same time that’s a genuine effort, because you can still part ways amicably by following these five things today, to actually make those words, “I take full accountability,” mean everything they’re supposed to mean, go crush it out there, and just take these. I want you to take these. I want you to take these and apply them to the next situation that happens today, tomorrow, this weekend, or whatever. And go all in.