About the Episode :
Many business owners have learned tough lessons on hiring people. Rick shares the moment in time with his previous business partner when he realizes he can no longer accept strays that continuously have failed him and his business.
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I’m excited to have you here today because this is going to be an episode that’s going to help a lot of people and that’s why I’m also going to ask you to share this out with at least three people today because today we’re going to be talking about generosity, and the right reasons to do something for someone else. Okay and I’m going to tell you some stories about how I have viewed this a lot in my life, because I’m a really generous person and I have a huge heart and I love being able to do things for other people, because I feel that one of the reasons why I’m doing so well in life, financially, physically, mentally, is because I’m constantly giving to everybody else. This is just something if you want to call it Karma, the universe, whatever, it always circles back around to you and that’s the amazing part. Because when you are able to do little things for other people, then it’s like, hey, you’re interested in doing a lot more. For a lot of people.
It’s pretty amazing how this cycle works, because then it’s like you keep re fulfilling yourself as far as your purpose because the only reason we’re on this planet is to help other people is to be a society is to be a culture is to continue to move forward, together with everybody in some sort of unity and generosity plays a big role in that, you know, just doing nice things for other people. I’ve told multiple stories on here about different ways to do that and I’m going to talk about one specifically today and it’s about me, because this is something that I realized the other day in a training course that I was in about myself and I asked the question, because the woman who’s teaching the course, as a psychologist, has a master’s in psychology, is also an international certified NLP Master Practitioner, and just an amazing woman. She’s trained some of the greatest people out there that have all these interventions and breakthroughs for people and I started recognizing something and I’m like, here’s a scenario that has taken place in my life as an employer, because I’ve been an employer for many years now creating jobs providing income for people.
I would often choose people, when I would ask, “Hey, what do you know about your life story?” All these things, and I would be compelled and we’ll talk about the meaning of that word compel in a bit, to do things for people that we’re not at a good place in life, you know, to the points like, oh, I can jump in, and I can help you, I can save you, all you need is a good job, and a good boss and direction and purpose and working for me will provide that to you, because I know that I will show up for you time and time again. So “Hey, come and work for me.” I would do this and hire out of primarily compassion, which you like, why is that a bad thing, I’m gonna tell you why as a primary reason that’s a bad thing is a secondary or tertiary reason, it’s all good but as a primary reason, I would hire out of compassion, much to the detriment of some of my key people that have been with me for years, because almost always, these individuals that I would hire primarily out of compassion, would end up either quitting, or I would have to fire them within months, if they just never ever, ever worked out from either direction.
Really I take complete responsibility for that, because of the reason that I was hiring them but I always since like, I want to help people, it’s out of the goodness of my heart, you know, I want to give these people home, I want to be able to allow them to, you know, break from these chains of bondage that they’ve been in place it other employers or other things that are going on the life if they only just had no chance, even though they may have severely screwed it up before if they only just had another chance I want to be that person. Right and I felt almost like there was this driving force that would cause me to do this. Or when I would hear a sob story from somebody, I would just be like, “Oh, you know what, there must be a reason why they’re in my life right now. I must be the one that’s supposed to help them.” So of course, you know, because I do this. If something’s coming across my path. There’s a reason it’s coming across my path.
I used to say that a lot, by the way. I used to say, if something’s coming across your path, there’s a reason that’s coming that it’s coming across your path and I always equated that to generosity, meaning like if There was a financial need or something that was brought before me, like, “Oh, well, the reason is, well, I must be able to help, I must be the one that’s supposed to help.” While that is true, a lot of the time, I found that because of that, you know, and maybe because of my upbringing in religion and everything else that I always felt like I was the one that was supposed to write that was supposed to jump in there and that was some of the things that were driving me to have this compassion and provide something a job, or even just straight up, give people money that would come across my path.
A partner of mine in a private security business, when I was trying to do this for a friend who had been a friend of mine for like, 20 years, even stood up at my wedding, he was having troubles with jobs, you know, and everything. He had his own business for a few years and then I was in a transition point, I think, from one job to another and “I’m like, Dude, I can help you for the time being, I can give you a security role. All good. Come on, in, fill out some paperwork.” I remember I was traveling at the time. And my partner calls me, like, “What’s up, dude?” He’s like, “Dude, we can not hire this guy”. I was like, “Why?” He’s like, “All these things that he’s saying are very condescending, and all this other stuff, you know, and he’s in these really bad places in life, and it’s actually oozing out of him. He’s bad for culture. He’s bad for all these other things and is even bad for himself right now.” And I’m like, “Oh, man, but I want to help the guy.” Like, I feel like we need to help the guy and that’s when he stopped me when I said, I feel like I need to help the guy. He’s like, “Rick, you and I, we have something similar.” Like, what? “What’s that man?” “We like to take in strays.”
That hit me hard. That hit me really hard at that moment, because I was like, “Damn, dude, you’re right.” I always felt that these individuals that were coming across my plate were someone for me to help in that moment. Right, and I felt like I needed to, because they were there right in front of me, I felt compelled to, when really what these people needed to do was help themselves and I was in a position in life in this was maybe the reason for some of these people coming across my life for me to be a little dose of reality, and be like, Why don’t you go get your ass a job? Right now with me? Why are you leaning on me for this? Or why are you asking me for money when you can go produce something on your own, which is going to be more beneficial for you, because now you’ve actually earned that. And this isn’t taking away from others you know, like shelters or things like that, because there’s there’s bridge moments in people’s lives where they need this.
But the role that I was fulfilling was that of an enabler. I felt forced or compelled or obligated just because these people were sitting right in front of me. That’s how I would hire for a long time and they would never last. They didn’t have any vision beyond where they were at right then and they were stuck in these cycles, to where they would go from job to job to job or never get past a certain income level, or never be able to really provide for their family, or never actually do anything for themselves because they relied on all of the people like me, in order to sustain their life and they never put effort in themselves to actually help themselves. So I messed up, and I was hit hard in the face by my partner who said, “Dude, we have big hearts and we’d like to take in strays. We cannot do that anymore. We will not do that anymore.”
Like, “Dude, you’re right.” My problem has always been prior to this moment. This was like four years ago. Now, prior to this moment. My problem was that I wanted to take people to the top. Who didn’t even want to see me at the top. Right there. It was like begrudgingly being like, “Okay, I’m just going to take advantage of this dude right now because he’s got stuff that I don’t. I don’t really want to see him there. I’d rather see him on my level. I’d rather see him suffer like me, but because he’s got it, I can take something from him and then I don’t have to work as hard. I know that I can go get a handout from this dude, that woman that’s over there.” They always do it. That’s great and they should do it and this is what I’m talking about being compelled or obligated or forced when somebody says they should give me the money that they have just because I don’t have it. Hello, socialism. Taxing the rich to give to the poor, being obligated or compelled to give your money to spread the wealth to somebody else is not what humans are supposed to do. It doesn’t help anybody, nobody.
With the exception of maybe those bridge times to where you have somebody to get back, and I can tell you story after story of when I worked for a social service agency, of how people would come in for rent assistance, free money free fucking money to give them for rent for their place and there was one stipulation, one requirement in order to receive two months worth of free rent money was that they had to come to a budgeting class. So that it would help them not be in the same scenario, again, you know, is over 90% of people be like, “Oh, I don’t want that. I don’t want that. I just need to rent money.” They didn’t want to put the effort in themselves, all they wanted to do was take from the people that had the money because they felt entitled to whatever else was spreading around without actually having to earn it. That’s stupid. Get up off your lazy ass. If you’re that individual, you’re doing nobody good. What are you teaching your kids? If that’s the case, this is a reality check. This isn’t talking down. This is saying, look in the mirror, come on.
Now you’re better than that. I know you can do this. I know you can. Because there’s probably a moment in your life, you can look back to where you have done this before and you were happier than you are more motivated because you were happier than because you did it yourself. Not because of a handout of somebody else. If you’re like me, and you’ve got a huge heart, keep helping people keep helping people keep helping people, because I’m not going to stop helping people. I will keep helping people. The form of that help will come in many different ways now, other than just handouts, because everybody needs to learn how to stand on their own two feet, their own two feet and learn for themselves. Otherwise, they’re going to be in the same spot. So don’t be an enabler like I was to teach people and give them an option, an opportunity in order to provide for themselves in order to make choices in their own life that will generate their own success, their own happiness, their own fulfillment. create that environment for them. Don’t hand it to them.
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