Why Self-Compassion is Essential

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• I can’t believe the phrase
• In disbelief, even staring at the truth
• What’s happening, is what happened.
• Giving yourself compassion
• Learning from losing time, money, or people

Hey, what’s shakin’, Hamrick Jordan? And today we’re going all in. I was ordering mobily from the Starbucks mobily. That’s kind of fun via my mobile. Starbucks, right? There’s not a lot that I indulge in with sweets and let’s just be real pumpkin spice, right? It’s just insane. It’s Starbucks but I went to order this thing and I accidentally hit the wrong store, the wrong location, the wrong Starbucks, this was just actually on my way to the studio today. 

And I take a look at I’m like, huh, I don’t know why I did that. Because I had to go the opposite direction from driving to the studio as I normally would because there’s a Starbucks that’s right on the way. And I’m looking at that. And then out of my mouth comes this phrase, which is what I want to talk about today is, I can’t believe that that was the phrase that came out of my mouth, as I’m looking at this. I’m like, I can’t believe that. And then I’m thinking, it’s like, Wait, that really never comes out of my mouth. And I caught myself in the moment because I started thinking deeply about this. And I love how these little moments can actually inspire something very meaningful in our lives. 

By the way, if you do this, you can catch this almost every single day in your life. Certain things can actually spark deep thoughts. If you just open your eyes and get out of the moment and just look around you and observe the life that’s taking place around you, you can see different things that can actually create meaning for you in this world for yourself. It’s pretty cool. So this was one of the things that did that for me, if I took a look at this. And at first, I said I couldn’t believe that. But then I’m like, wait for a second, I never say that. I don’t know why I said it today. Because typically, when I hear other people say that phrase, I can’t believe it. 

It’s usually about something that’s already happened. Something that’s actually like over and done with and then you’re looking at it and you’re literally staring at the proof right in your face. Because I saw it’s like Lagrange in Colorado, I’m like, here it is, here’s the address. It’s like staring me right in the face where I’m supposed to pick it up. I’m glad I actually read it. Otherwise, I would have just driven to the Starbucks location on the way to the studio, by accident will really be more like on autopilot, because that’s the one that I always stop at, on my way to my studio. However, this time, I’m actually glad that I saw that because I went to the correct location to get my drinks. But it was just strange to me that I tap the wrong one. 

But even more strange to me that I said that phrase, I can’t believe it about something that already happened. And when I hear people say this all the time, you know about something that happened, something that took place in their life, maybe it’s something that somebody did to you. Maybe it’s just something that you even did yourself, and you take a look at it like I can’t believe it’s not a matter of belief when you’ve got something staring you right in the face. And you might have heard this phrase before, right? That person will never believe it, even if it’s staring them right in the face. Have you ever heard that phrase before? It’s as if the truth is right there in front of you, the facts are presenting themselves, and you’re still in disbelief. 

That’s where that phrase comes from. However, I’m going to challenge you on this today. Because at that moment, when you’re looking at something that has already happened, that something is right in your face, that says what the truth and the facts actually are right now or that have happened. That’s not disbelief. That’s unacceptable. There’s a big difference such it’s a subtle difference. But it’s actually just this humongous difference.

It’s a subtle difference in language, but a huge difference in meaning. Because disbelief can only be about something that can happen in the future. I want you to grab onto that today, disbelief or not having faith we can interchange those two words, belief and faith are always something that is going to happen. Right? Acceptance is the dividing line between the past and the future. Because acceptance is something that already has happened or something that is happening right now to you. Okay, because if it’s happening right in front of you, there is no choice but to do but to believe it, because it’s right there. 

Whether you accept it or not is a different story, but you know what? The truth is the truth. The facts are the facts. What’s happening is what’s happening. What happened is what happened. You can’t change that. That’s not about belief. That’s about acceptance. So if you screwed up a year ago, and you’re still bearing the repercussions of that, you want to know how to dig yourself out of a hole from something that you’re giving yourself beat down four, start to accept that you actually did it. Because what will take place in a lot of people and why you get stuck in this rut in this hole to where you’re like I can’t move forward, or I can’t catch a break is because you actually don’t accept what already took place. And you keep beating yourself up for that same thing, that same thing, and it keeps you stuck at that moment because you just don’t accept that it actually took place. 

The only way to move forward is to actually take a real look at something and say, Alright, this is happening, or this happened. That’s acceptance, just speaking those words out loud, saying, alright, this happened, alright, this is happening. Once you come to that place of acceptance, then you can move forward, right, because you can start to shape and you know what, in the future, whether you believe something is going to going to happen or not, whether you have faith, that something will happen or exist or not, that’s a completely different thing, because that’s the unknown. 

That is completely unknown. The only way you can actually find out and this is where I’m gonna challenge you a little bit here. Because there’s only one way you can actually find out if that is actually possible. But let’s talk about this dividing line called acceptance just a little bit more. Because this rut that you’re in right now is because of your lack of acceptance. It could be somebody else who did something to you. But a lot of times, we beat ourselves up, way more than other people beat us up. We start to get angry at ourselves, we start to get frustrated with ourselves, and we start to depreciate ourselves and our own values. 

And this is where self-esteem and self-worth, just dive into the toilet and get flushed down the drain into the sewer. Because we don’t accept who we are or who we have been. I look at photos of me when I dropped a ton of weight years ago. And every time I show one of those photos of somebody like that’s not the same guy. That’s not the same guy. And I’m like, You know what? I don’t feel like it was the same guy. At the same time. That was still me. I accept that. That was me. And the only way that I could have ever moved past that point in time I’ve told this story before is when some drunk dude in a movie theater walked by me and said, “Hey, chubby.” 

And that was it. And I looked in the mirror. I’m like, Man, I am fat. It took somebody else and it pissed me off right at that moment. This is a whole nother show that I’ve talked about in episodes in the past. Go look it up, we’ll put the episode in the show notes. I don’t know what number it is, or what episode it was. But that was an accepting moment. It was a moment of acceptance for me when I said you know what I am. We didn’t want to lose a ton of money a few years ago trying to put on this event, the most money I’ve ever lost, the only way that I can move past and actually build amazing relationships from it was saying, alright, this happens. Well, you know what? It’s done at this point. 

I accept that it happened. And I accept that it is not continuing. Did you hear me say that? Because if it’s a finite moment, I accept that it happens. And I accept that it is done. Finished. Over. Now I can move to the future, I can move forward in my life. Because what you will do if you do not come to that is you will stay in that moment, and you will continue to beat yourself up. And this is what others want for you, the ones that don’t want you to succeed, including parts of yourself, because you may not feel worthy enough, you may not feel sufficient enough, you may not feel like you can never do enough. But those are all things that you’re telling yourself because you are not accepting the times when maybe you didn’t do enough. 

Or maybe you did fail, maybe you did suck. But accepting that that was you allows you to move into what can be you in a more positive way in something that you actually want to create into who you really want to be beyond and the only way to move past that rut is to get out of that hole in your life is to accept what happened or what is happening. And then forgive yourself or give yourself compassion by saying it’s done. It happened but there’s no more beating myself up over it. Right now this moment. I have to let go of whatever that was because that was something that took place. And I am going to start respecting myself by not holding myself.

At that moment, I accepted it. And now it’s done. Now let’s move into the future. Because you’ve got this scar from the past, and you know what it’s going to hurt, it’s going to hurt. And even this acceptance of what happened is going to hurt, but it’s temporary. It’s temporary right now. So that you can move forward into something that doesn’t hurt. That could be a new job, a new relationship could be a new business venture you want to start, it’d be something really, really cool that you’ve always wanted in your life, something really fulfilling, and just something that makes you smile every single day. Because now you’re living in it. 

And if you’re saying, I don’t believe that, or it’s hard to believe that or it’s difficult to have faith that’s going to happen, you know, those are real emotions. Those are absolutely real emotions. Because it hasn’t happened yet. So how can you actually know? How can you really know if it’s going to take place if what you want if what you desire for yourself is actually going to come to pass? How do you really know? The only way is to start making steps towards that. That’s it. That’s the only way. Because you’re never really going to know, you can come up with all these scenarios in your head. And all of these reasons why not to do these things. 

And you know what some of them may even be true. But if you can find the few reasons that are powerful enough to make that first step, and then see what happens, and then make that second step and see what happens. And then the third and the fourth and the fifth, and you start to look back when you’re at the sixth and seventh step and be you know what I made the last steps you know what I am, this is beautiful, because we talked about acceptance, I accept that I made those five steps. And it got me to this point. Maybe now I can keep going to step 6789 10. 

Once you start down the path, you’ll see that you’re able to walk the path. Once you start going after something, you will see that you can actually obtain something. It’s beautiful, it’s momentum. It’s a force of nature. When you finally decide to just go through things even in a moment of disbelief or moments of disbelief or moments of lack of faith, probably in yourself. The only way to get rid of disbelief or rid of lack of faith is to start going after that. That’s what I want to see you do. Because you’ll get to those points and that’s the thing. It’s like overcoming that disbelief, overcoming that lack of faith in yourself by just taking those few steps is really what you need to get what you want. I love you. I want to hear some amazing stories. DM me out of this, of how you went ALL IN.