About the Episode
We all have people in our life that will reach out with a quick text or call, and we immediately dread it. They are the people that ask you how you are, to then ignore your response and tell you how they are instead. Learn what methods Rick has used to cut these interactions out of his life.
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Hey, what’s shakin! It’s good to be back for another episode where we go ALL IN, and this is Rick Jordan, I am happy you are here today. Share this out, please, with at least three people that this resonates with who you think needs to hear this message today, because it’s going to be powerful for you. And it’s going to be powerful for other people that you know, because I know you like to help other people and that’s why you’re listening to the show. Otherwise, whatever, right?
Anyways, today, I’m sure you’ve had this, right? Where you’ve had those phone calls and you know that every single time this person calls you, or every single time this person text messages, you it’s a little baiting you, right? And they’re not really asking you how you’re doing to get how you’re doing, they’re only asking how you’re doing, just to start the conversation so they can tell you how they’re doing. And those people really want to tell you how they’re doing. It’s always bad, it’s always negative, right? They always want to dump their problems on everything. And those individuals, when it’s repetitive like that, they become very needy and leachy. So I know, you know what I’m talking about. Everybody has always experienced that in their life to where there’s this one person or people that you see their phone ring, or the text message notification pop up, and you’re like, “Man, it’s like, do I respond to this?” If you gotta read receipts on? It’s like, well, “No, no, I’m not opening it. Nope, not happening.”
Now. I’ve had these people too, I still have some of these people, and they’re there, you know, eventually, if you know that, it’s going to be that way, eventually, you just ignore them. And they’ll drop off. That’s one method I’ve used before but another method is just responding and almost like completely avoiding that specific topic. Or acting as a reflector as a mirror. So hopefully, they can see exactly what they’re doing, you know, but saying I’m here for you. But this is not something I have time for right now. You know, it’s okay to do that, too. It’s okay to protect your own energy, when you have these people in your life.
Now, today, I’m going to talk to you who might have those issues. Okay, you might have those problems, or you think so, and you may have some very legitimate things in your life right now. Some things that actually are real, and they’re bad. They’re things that are happening to you like some issues that you have to work through. Because that’s life, right? We all have bad days, we all have things that happen to us. We all also need support from other people during those times two.
So, I’m flipping this back around saying that, of course, it’s understandable. But at the beginning, I was talking about people that just do that for attention, or because they need certain things from you, they just need that validation to have social contact, or whatever it is. It’s just an interesting scenario, right? But now, I’m talking to you about when you have these bad days, right? And of course, it must be human nature, something to just want to dump on people. Because I felt like this before myself, I absolutely have. When you have problems in your life, legitimate things, there’s a way because you’ll have this natural tendency to want to just dump on people. And I’ve had this before, right? It’s like, I don’t know, if it’s like this venting thing. I’m not a psychologist. But it’s almost like when you have something bad happen, it’s like you tell one person, this is probably part of the way to process too, right? You tell one person, and then you lay even though you’re like, I’m not going to tell anybody what’s going on, I’m only telling you, but then you tell another person. And you keep repeating the story and you keep repeating the story, you keep repeating the story, you keep repeating the story of this bad thing or your problem.
You know, and at some point, at the beginning, it could be this almost grieving process, because you’re, you’re working through the negative emotions, because it’s something legitimate, that’s not good, that happened to you and that’s okay. And then you move into this phase to where it’s like, you could tell people, you could tell people, your problems to actually ask them for help, like, “Hey, how can we fix this? Is there anything that you can see that I’m not seeing to where I can get this out of my life to where I can move past this?”
Then there’s a threshold. And I’m saying this with a little bit of inflection in my voice, because there’s a frickin’ threshold, where you can cross over into those people that I was talking about at the beginning of this episode, that just call you or say how are you just to dump on you? They’re not actually contacting you, because they want to contact you. They want to contact you for themselves. There’s a threshold that’s there. So on the one side, it’s cool. It’s okay because as you’re processing, you’re grieving then you can move into this phase after you’ve processed or allowed yourself to feel the emotions and people you have to allow yourself to feel the emotions, you can’t bury them, because they will stay there and fester. And then pop up in ways that you cannot imagine or even good, because you start to lash out on other people, because you project those because you’ve suppressed those in yourself. So allow yourself to feel those emotions. When something happens or a problem arises in your life. It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be frustrated. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be even pissed at yourself because you recognize you did something right? And then you can move into that phase to where you’re thinking, “Alright, now I’m going to tell somebody, I’m going to ask this person, I need to tell them my problem. But I’m also going to ask them, How do I fix it? Can you help me? Can you give me a fresh perspective on this so I can move past it? So I can resolve it.”
But don’t cross over the threshold to where you’re just calling people for you, not for them. And here’s some advice for you on this. What I’m talking about is talking about your problems can actually become an addiction. And that’s when it can start to just send your life into this downward spiral, talking about your problems. When you start telling one person to go to the next sale, the same story, same story, same story, same story, same story… there’s a threshold that you cross we’re talking about your problems can become your greatest addiction. Instead, when you catch yourself doing this, because I had before, I’ve never gotten really bad at this to where it’s become an addiction. But I’ve caught myself, like, “You know what, I really didn’t need to talk about that, or tell them that thing. I just did that one for me. Right for attention. That’s all that it was, was I was going after attention in that moment.” And that’s stupid.
So let’s back it up a little bit. And I can either ask for help getting the scene out of my life. Or you can do this. You can start telling people about the joys in your life. You can tell people about the good things that are happening in your life. Because no matter how bad things are, there’s always something good that you can find. Even if that good thing is buried under a pile of bad. There’s still something good in your life. If you think the walls are crashing down upon you, you can’t pay your rent, you don’t have a job anymore, or you got fired or your car broke down or whatever.
Maybe you have a son or a daughter that’s still in your life. That’s probably a good thing, right? Maybe you still have a wife or a husband that’s still in your life, that’s probably a good thing. Maybe you have a good church that you go to, or maybe you have a friend, a really good friend. Those are probably good things in your life, aren’t they? Or maybe you even have memories. In that moment, that’s the only thing that you can come up with. That’s good is you have memories, you still have something good in your life.
So break the habit and talk about your joys not your problems. I love you. I know you needed to hear this today. Now go ALL IN.
- Problem Dumpers
- Needy and Leachy People
- Wallowing in your problems, and dragging others down with you
- Feeling and Working on your Emotions Together