Assuming Your Relationship

Watch the episode here:

• Stop sabotaging your relationships with assumptions.
• Discover how emotional awareness can transform your life.
• Learn the two key questions to ask yourself when you feel emotionally off.
• Ever feel like someone’s upset with you? You might be wrong.
• It’s time to own your emotions and stop reacting to imagined scenarios.

What’s shakin Hey, I’m Rick Jordan. Today, we’re going all over this topic. Today I’m going to talk to you about you’re probably going to want to share this with a lot of people because it’s something that I know everybody experiences. When you sit and start to think, and you like, you’re like, feeling angry towards somebody, or some sort of emotion that you feel towards anybody. I mean, it could be somebody close to you, in a friendship, a romantic relationship, a partner, a business, whatever. And you start to think it’s like Man, I’m just agitated in some way, or I’m feeling down, or I’m feeling on edge, or I just feel anxious about something, and then here’s what happens, right? Because it’s usually something about what you think that another person is feeling or thinking or actually going through these crazy thoughts or making things up in their head. And I’m talking like you might think that somebody’s mad at you, okay? Like you think, oh, man, they got to be mad at me. Or are you like, feeling out of vibe, right? And you’re just saying I can feel this person they feel, which is true. I believe in that because science can measure quantum energy coming off of our bodies, I truly feel that we can react to different energies that are put out by people. 

But when you start to think about things, and you start to go down these rabbit holes I wonder what they’re thinking. I wonder what they’re feeling. Maybe they’re mad at me, maybe they’re upset with me, maybe they’re, they’re not happy with me right now, or maybe they’re, they’re just having a bad day because, or maybe they’re in a bad mood, you know, maybe something happened, or whatever it is, in these moments, you start to actually start to react this way when you think these things, and you begin to play off of these emotions that you think the other person is feeling about you, even though you don’t really Know. And I know you’ve fallen into this before because everybody does it. It’s natural. I mean, you read facial expressions, you hear a tone of voice, and something just seems off, and then that dictates how you interact with that person for the rest of the day, the rest of the week, sometimes for even extended periods of times, especially in romantic relationships, because you start to formulate these things based off of this one moment in time, or even maybe a phrase that somebody said, in addition to facial expressions or tones of voice or things you hear about this person, how they’re reacting or acting to things, and then You start to almost like guard yourself. It’s like you’re expecting some kind of blowup. 

And I’ve had times where I felt this way, too, but lots of different people to where it’s like, oh man, they’re putting off a weird vibe, you know, oh, did you hear the tone of voice? Or why did they just say this? I bet you they’re thinking this. Oh, they’re probably feeling this. And you know what? Then I gotta go do this. Go do this. I’m gonna stay away from this person for a while. I’m gonna give them some space. How many of you have thought that before? Right? I’m just gonna give them some space because they seem like they’re off, which you could be, right? When you’re with a person for a long time, friendship, relationship, or romantic relationship, you start to be able to read those individuals, and you start to learn, what their facial expressions are. However, there are still moments to where the stuff that you’re thinking, that they are feeling about you, or whatever is just completely made up in your head. Did you hear that you are making it up? There are two questions when I start to feel this way, when I start to think these things and be like, that person’s off. I’m just going to stay away from them, give them space. There are two questions that I ask myself, and you have to get to the point. And this is some kind of emotional awareness, and the only way to do this is to start to actually say today, from now on, right from this moment, and speak this out loud. Because words have power. Speak this out loud. Be like from now on, I will pay attention to my feelings. Did you hear me say this to you right now? Say it with me. 

I will pay attention to my feelings one more time. I will pay attention to my feelings. If you choose to let them ride and not pay attention to them. That’s when you can start to create all of these things in your own mind that are just not real about what that other person is feeling or thinking about you. And then you start to give them space, and you start to create disconnection or distance, because. Not really sure, but you’re just thinking these things, and you haven’t paid attention to your emotions. Because most of the time, most of the time, some of the things that you can be feeling towards another person you’re actually projecting onto them because you’re feeling them yourself. That’s most of the time. So the first question you want to ask yourself now that you’re paying attention to your feelings from today forward, is the question, Is this me? Did you hear that the question to ask yourself when you feel these things is, Is this me, or, even better, is, could this be me? Meaning, are you the only one that’s feeling this way? And that’s the question to ask yourself, Could this be me? Because the answer to that question is, well, yeah, it could be maybe. And as soon as you start to entertain that possibility, you can go one step deeper. And this is the power of this, because once you recognize that whatever you’re feeling that that other person is doing or feeling or thinking or whatever it is, as soon as you pay attention to your own emotions on this, you start to realize that this could maybe be just you, and this is the Start of emotional awareness. 

And the start of emotional intelligence is when you start to think, yeah, I guess it could be me, maybe, but you still don’t really know, right? You still don’t know who it actually is. And then the second question to follow up with that after you’ve already said, yeah, maybe it could be me. And sometimes you might have an answer to that question already, because you know people’s expressions, their words, and everything, you might be able to determine how they’re feeling by their actual actions. And be able, on rare occasions, again, this is the minority right to where you could ask the question yourself, Could this maybe be me? You might be able to answer that question as Nope, not at all. But you have to be honest with yourself, because the truth is the truth, and the truth is always a good place to start after you’ve answered the question, could this be me? With Yeah, maybe, maybe it could be me. The next question is, and this is about the other person, right? What you think that they are feeling or thinking about themselves is, well, how do I really know if I think they’re mad at me? How do I really know if I think that they’re upset over something? How do I really know if I think that they’re creating some distance? How do I really know? And most of the time, in this moment, when you’re again honest with yourself, the answer to that question of, how do I really know? The answer is, I don’t. These are so powerful when you start to recognize that you’re feeling a certain way, and you ask that self the question, you know, once you realize that it maybe could be me, and then you ask, okay, if I really believe or am thinking that this person is thinking or feeling something about me, and I ask the question, how do I really know? 

And you at the moment are honest and say, Well, I don’t this is the beginning of discovery, because at this moment, once you answer that question with the I don’t know if they’re actually feeling this way. I don’t know if they’re actually thinking this way. Then, then at that moment, you can, you’ll feel your shoulders drop. You will feel your heart relax. You will feel all the tension inside is released because now you can take action from a place of being rational rather than being emotional. And even worse, emotional over things that might not even be real or might not even be happening because that person is not thinking or feeling anything whatsoever that you are making up in your own head. The first question is, could this maybe be me? The second question is, how do I really know if that person is thinking or feeling this, and when you answer I don’t, then you can actually start to think ways. And it actually opens up the door for communication. Because the best thing to do at that point is then to ask this person, whoever you’re interacting with, just questions, simple questions. And it could be, hey, when you said this, what did you mean? Or, you know what? I saw this expression on your face, what’s happening?

And when you allow them the opportunity, you open the doors for communication, for them to actually, for real, tell you what’s going on. Most of the time, you’ll find out that you were. Yourself up for no reason whatsoever. And now with these two, we’ll call them magic questions. Could this maybe be me? And then, in regards to how they’re feeling or thinking, How do I really know and answering with I don’t, you are on your way to opening doors of communication, and in that relationship, that interaction, whatever it is now, you’ll be able to go all in you.

GO ALL IN.