About the Episode:
When it comes to speaking publicly, either on stage or on a podcast, really any public platform, it’s important to have compassion. Stories we tell can contain bits and pieces of other people’s lives, and it is important to remember it does no justice to speak upon another’s life publicly.
Listen to the podcast here:
Watch the episode here:
- Social Media – What should you share?
- Separation of Professional and Personal in Podcasting
- Are you really mad at yourself?
- Self Reflection within the words of others
- Examining your own Motives
What shakin’! It’s good to have you back, cuz today we’re going ALL IN, I’m Rick Jordan, if you didn’t know already, because that’s who the show’s with. It’s me. And today we’re gonna talk about something that you, if you haven’t experienced it yet, you might at some point, especially if you’re putting yourself out on social media and I’ll give you some tips on this too. If you talk on stage, you know, if you do anything, if you podcast whatever, is it, this has come up in my life before. If I’ve made a social media post, if I’ve done a story somewhere, even shows on, on here, if I’m talking on stage, I’ve had people be like, uh, ask questions or just straight up, get pissed at me by, by thinking that I’m talking about them, right? Like I use this situation that I might have a grudge or a grievance against them and then start to talk about it publicly.
You know, like it fuels me, my frustration is now fueled by a podcast episode or it’s fueled by a talk or a, uh, or a, an Instagram post, something like that. And the short answer is no, I never ever do a podcast episode or a talk on stage or any kind of Instagram post about any specific person ever. I never ever do that because I can separate those things. And there might be a situation that happens, but I’m so removed from it that it just doesn’t matter. I might use some things as an example sometimes, but it is with the situation, but never about a specific person. And I get the questions it’s like, you were talking about me, weren’t you like, no. Or you posted that, that was about me or you, you just did that live. Yeah, I know you were talking about me.
I know you that’s what you were talking about because it was like, no, that’s not, that’s not ever this. And here’s the thing. You will probably experience this a lot. If you do any of these things, if you podcast, uh, put any kind of personal brand out there whatsoever, whatever you do, you will experience this at some point to where people think that you’re like railing them, from one of these stages that you’ve created. Now, when I talk about stage, cuz podcasts are kind of a stage, right? Social media is sort of a stage or like the literal stage. They will think that you are railing them. And that for starters, as I said, I never ever do that. I hope to God that you never do that either because those are not the locations. Those are not the venues. Those are not the medium, the formats to express those things.
You never wanna air your dirty laundry. It’s a lovely phrase. I’ve heard that before. You never want to air your dirty laundry on a social media post on a, uh, on a stage or on a podcast, anywhere at all. There’s a phrase Michelle Obama used to say that, that I actually love a lot. And she said, when, when they go low, we go high. Right? That’s such something that has resonated with me over the past decade. Ever since I heard her say that because that’s the way to approach these kinds of things, right? You deal with things privately and you encourage publicly. You deal with these things privately and encourage them publicly. So anytime I’m talking about any situation, I will talk about my own life all day long, something that I did, whatever, but I am never talking about another person.
And I wanna encourage you to do the same. Now, when somebody comes to you and says one of these things and gets pissed at you, here’s what you can do. First off, have compassion. The very first thing to do is to have compassion because of the reason, and if you’re listening now and you’ve had this and thought somebody has talked about you, I know what you’re thinking. The reason why you think that person is talking about you or why that person thinks that you are talking about them when they’re coming to you with this is because it’s actually resonating with them. It’s stirring up something inside of them. It is frustrating that maybe it’s a trauma or something like that, or just a bad period of their life or something that quite truthfully, they are mad at themselves about. So now that you talked about it, they start to project that frustration with themselves onto you.
It’s a very human thing to do. It’s a sucky thing to do, but it’s a very human thing to do. So the first thing is to have compassion for that person, because they are obviously going through something that is causing them to feel this way, because it is resonating with them, whatever you said is resonating with them. So just in that moment, you can be there for ’em of course, assure them and be like, Hey man, I’m sorry, but that’s just not the case because I don’t do that. Now what’s going on in your life. How can I help you? Right? And immediately you can shift to a position of support with them. That’s the second thing. After you have this compassion and have this understanding and compassion that they’re really upset with themselves about something or there’s something going on in their life that has absolutely nothing to do with you.
But now they think that you’re talking about them because of whatever you talked about. So, or you know, something about them that nobody else does, whatever. Right? That first thing is compassion. But the second thing to do is ask ’em how you can help. So it’s, I’m sorry, I don’t do that because that’s not who I am now, what’s going on? How can I help you open that door for them to be vulnerable in that moment? And when you do it in a compassionate way from your hearts, they might just open up to you. They might even apologize to you for that.
And the third thing to do when somebody brings us up to you after you, after you’ve offered to help, you know, cuz they could reject you as well. Right? So the third thing to do, the last thing to do after they bring this up to you is start to reflect on yourself a little bit because you wanna make sure that you’re actually not doing that right now. When, when I say this, right? It, it, I say that I never ever do it.
However, every time something has happened, I don’t freak out about it. I don’t get anxious about it at all, but it’s a time to actually examine your own self, to make sure that your motives are pure, that your heart is right in whatever you just said. And maybe even examine the way that you said it, cuz maybe you could communicate the same message in a way that resonates a little better with the most people.
It’s pretty cool because every opportunity with this after you show up for that person, every opportunity is a time for you to maybe even level up yourself, right. Just to make sure that you’re still in check and Hey, it’s okay if you are, it’s all good, right? If you’re like, Nope, that was cool. Definitely didn’t talk about them. It was nothing. It was just something I was thinking about. And every time this comes up with me, I always try to check in with myself to make sure that I wasn’t actually doing that because I want to stay true to what my values are in doing what I’m doing in, in speaking, everything that comes from my mouth. I wanted to be able to support people and help them level up and move to a better place in life. You know, a lot of times that can be very hard hitting. That’s who I am.
I’m straight up. It’s the straight truth. We used to have a segment on every single show back in the early episodes of this podcast that was called the straight truth, right? I’m hard hitting. And with that comes these things to where people think that you’re talking directly about them on whatever platform that is. But every time it comes up, that’s the third thing I do is check in when the, with myself to make sure I’m still staying true to my core of who I am and just expressing how I am for the masses and what I feel that the masses need to hear rather than taking out something and using my, my credibility, my platform, that, that I’ve created, that I’m grateful to have to actually put somebody else in their place. That’s a horrible thing to do. So first you want to tell them, Hey, you know what, I I’m, I’m sorry that you want to have compassion, right? Because you need to understand that very first thing that there’s something that’s going on with them. And they’re probably pissed at themselves. That’s the very first thing one has compassion, two, be there for them in support. Hey, I’m sorry. I just don’t do that. What’s going on? How can I help you? And then lastly use it as an opportunity to check in with yourself and go ALL IN.