The Art of Deep Engagement

Watch the episode here:

• Uncover the foundational values that drive human behavior.
• Learn how to identify and understand others’ belief systems.
• Discover the motivations behind decisions in business and personal life.
• Gain insights into forming deeper, more meaningful connections.
• Equip yourself with the tools to succeed in any relational setting.

Hey, what’s shakin, hey, I’m Rick Jordan. Today, we’re going all in. All right, whenever you’re talking with somebody, whether it’s in the sales engagements, if you’re trying to speak on stage, if you’re trying to pitch an investor if you’re trying to even form a relationship with somebody to date somebody, maybe even see if this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, there are three secrets to uncover. That’s what we’re going to talk about today. And we’re going to explore all of these. And when you do these things, you’ll start to recognize if it’s, if it’s something like a relationship, if it’s something that’s in sync with you, if you’re looking at some of the other things in business, to where you’re speaking on a stage where you’re trying to move a crowd, or if you’re pitching an investor, or if you’re trying to win a customer, convert a customer or prospect into a customer, these things are going to be of so much value to you. As you start to focus on these things in your conversation in your engagement with whoever it is, and uncover these three secrets, then you’ll be able to actually move forward or maybe not, you know, depending on what you what you learn about this person. And this is always a personal thing. Sales is a personal thing, relationships are obviously a personal thing. Investors may be sometimes, but I’m going to tell you the truth from what I’ve experienced taking a company public is that people don’t typically invest in the company, big investors can behind it, they invest in the person in the management and their ability to be able to move something forward. And typically, it’s something that they can believe in. 

So it’s, it’s very different when you’re when you’re pitching these people, or whether you’re trying to convert a customer over what matters personally to them are the secrets that you have to uncover. And here are those three, we’ll start with the first one. The first one is values. Number one is valued, meaning like in the core of a human, in the core of the person that you’re speaking with communicating with engaging with, what do they hold a value in their life? You can pick up clues because there are questions that you can ask along the way. And those questions typically date back to like their childhood, you know, it’s like, Hey, did describe what your childhood was like, you know, how did you grow up? Where’d you grow up? You know, what were your parents? Like? Did you have brothers or sisters? You know, where did you go to school? What was your school experience, like, you can come up with all these questions to actually determine way back when, because typically speaking, somebody’s values were formed a long, long time ago. And a lot of I can speak for myself that that was absolutely the case. Typically, they’re instilled by parents, or the lack thereof I was talking with somebody this week about the education system, and how parental dis embodiment if you want to call it that is an abdication, you know, or like a release of the responsibility of that parents, to the school system to the principal to the teachers, and teachers get paid so little, it’s like, whether somebody gets paid, gets a grade of an A or an F, or how many people in the class, they still get paid the same. So there’s not much incentive there to actually instill good values into your kids. But when you’re a parent, it is completely your responsibility. 

And when you start to talk with somebody and start to uncover the secret, this first secret of their values about what they hold dear, where they look at things, it’s like my, one of my core values of is that words matter. It’s always been that way since I was young. Another core value of me, Rick Jordan, is that I value being around other people and doing good things for other people. I am not the end all and be all, you know, there are certain circumstances to where I just posted this thing the other day, it’s like, you know, humble enough to know that I can be replaced, but wise enough to know that I’m unique. That’s a value of mine, to know that I can provide something different, something unique to other people. It’s not that I’m better. I never ever say that I’m better. I don’t believe that I’m better. Unless I’m talking about a specific skill set or something. Come on. Now, let’s be real, you know if you can go into a sport, right? Somebody can obviously say that Michael Jordan was better than the majority of basketball players that are out there. He had the talent, but he also put a lot of effort in, right and that was one of his values. As we’re talking about this. That dude was the first dude at the gym. For practices. That dude was the last to delete that dude had a value of consistency and showing up and putting in 100% of who you are into that game, otherwise, he wasn’t gonna play with you. That’s like hands down. That was one of his values that you can clearly see. So another thing as you start to get to know these people, because typically, sales don’t happen right then and there. Typically, an investor pitch doesn’t happen right then and there. Sometimes it does. Typically, you don’t ask somebody to marry you on the very first date. So in addition to the conversation, You know what I’m talking about, there’s another tool to uncover the secret of their values, this first secret of values, which is observation. And you can start to look at things over time. And then you can start to see how they approach different types of situations, like people. 

One thing that I love, another core value of mine that I love hearing reciprocation back from is like, man, Rick Jordan, that dude always shows up, meaning like, I always will go somewhere, to be present for something to bring value, what I feel is a value that I can bring to that environment. That is one of my core values is freaking showing up. And I hear that back, because people observe that back me time, and time and time and time again, right, one of my core values like it, you see in the show, right? This show is going to be approaching it’ll, it’ll hit close to 500 episodes this year. That’s awesome. I have not backed down off of this, because I just knew that there was value in this. And I knew that if I quit, they would never see that value. Not quitting is another one of my values, as long as it continues to match up with my vision, right. So when you talk with somebody, when you ask the questions, and most people for real, they will be on a surface level. And that leads us to secret number two, which you have to uncover in order to actually learn somebody. And that’s their beliefs. That is their beliefs, values, or something like the core within someone who they actually are, beliefs are formed from what they’ve experienced in life. 

That’s the difference. Values are something core and NERT. With them, sometimes they can be taught, you know, sometimes they can be a product in their environment, yes, but it comes down to who that person actually is. Whereas beliefs, secret number two, that you need to uncover beliefs are formed from something that they have experienced, most often, you know, or the other side of it is a belief something that they have chosen to believe in faith. And faith is based on some previous experiences, but also a desire and a hope for something to be a certain way, that could be a sale, that could be a relationship, that could be launching a company, that could be a certain path in life that you’re on, and you’re choosing to believe that and then you start to operate in that. And again, this is another thing that you can uncover with observation. Because when people say something, and this is where I started with secret number two, with beliefs, when people say something, usually when you meet them for the first time, they’re very superficial, extremely superficial. And I’ve recognized that not everybody’s like me that way. It’s like, I get down, I’ve appeared on lives. I do other podcasts, I guess on I go on TV. And time and time again, I’ve heard things like, whoa, you just got deep, real quick. It’s like, Duh, that’s, that’s a value of mine, right? That’s another value that I like to get deep. So it’s like, it’s surprising to people that I just go there right away. Because it’s not the norm. what the norm is, is that most people will wear a mask, and most people will be superficial surface level. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m not saying this in the negative, it’s just that it takes time for most people to open up. 

That’s why this is a secret of their belief system for you to uncover. I know you’re tracking with me on this, because this is like I’m sure it’s like ringing some some bells of notes like, oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Because I just experienced that with this person. Or I just met this individual, and oh, my gosh, the stuff that they were saying. It’s like, I knew there was something more to it. But it was tough for me to get underneath that surface-level scenario, that surface-level conversation, you know, especially in a relationship, man, if somebody says, Stay surface level with you forever, run for the hills, get the hell out of there. Because that’s not a deep relationship. I sit on playing rides with people next to people I don’t know. And then all of a sudden, they look over me like, why am I telling you this? I don’t understand. I don’t tell this to anybody. Why am I talking to you this way? And it’s like because I’m interested because I want to go deep. That’s a value. And obviously, I want to uncover what their values are secret number one, and I want to uncover what their belief system is secret number two that I’m talking about. So I create that space, intentionally. Because of my values, and of my beliefs, I want to go deeper than surface level with somebody. It’s powerful because then you truly get to understand somebody and you know what, I’ve noticed, that most people are really, really good people. 

For real. I don’t think there are any, or many I should say truly evil people that exist in this world. Most people are actually good people in their hearts. What they have done over time, is they’ve thrown aside their values. They’ve decided to take up someone else’s values maybe for people pleasing, maybe to fit in, maybe to get a job, maybe to keep a relationship that’s dead, keep it together on life support. They throw their values aside, right or they stay on that surface level with the beliefs that they expressed to you. And that’s why you never get past that. So that mask that they’re wearing is actually something that they’ve learned something that has been taught to them, something that is a protection and survival mechanism for them. So that they don’t have to get deep with people. But then they present either just a fraction of themselves or something that’s not even them. That’s why you’ve got to uncover these things. In these types of scenarios. And these types of conversations, these engagements, in order to get to the core of who somebody is, in order to get them to do business with you, in order to get them to invest in you, in order to get them to spend their life with you, you have to uncover these things. So when you look past that, it’s actually going to help you it’s going to help you to be more vulnerable, it’s going to help you to be actually who you are, it’s going to help you take the mask off when you have a genuine curiosity and an intentional curiosity to find these things out to uncover the secrets in the other person. 

I’m telling you this is this was like success in life here today, covering all bases. We talked about values, we talked about beliefs. Now, the third secret to uncover for you today is their motivations. What actually gets them to the point where they’ll actually make a move will actually take some kind of action, you know how they are motivated. And some people it could be fear, it absolutely could be just as much as fear can keep you stuck, which I’ve talked about before. In previous episodes, probably a couple of them, just as much as fear can keep you stuck. Fear can also be a motivator. That’s actually what it’s supposed to be. Fear is a healthy emotion. Fear is something that can actually get you up off your ass and take the steps that you need to take in order to get what you want to put in the work to take the action to move forward into even something that you don’t know, which is a reason why you should begin with, especially if you’re scared of it. Fear is a powerful motivator. And it’s a healthy emotion. You talk about something that was like, ingrained in human beings’ survival, that’s a great survival mechanism is to be scared fighter flights. It’s a positive thing, as long as you don’t stay in the loop of fear and allow fear to get stuck or keep you stuck in a certain environment scenario that you should not be in the fear is there not to keep you stuck, the fear is there to get you out? Are you hearing me today? 

That is your motivator. And what you can uncover for a lot of people because people respond differently to fear. So if you find out someone is motivated by fear, okay, now it’s time to figure out if they’re in a mode of allowing fear to keep them stuck. Or if you can maybe nudge them into that same fear being operating in what it’s designed to do is to get them moving, to get them out of whatever it is that they’re in. And that’s a way that you can uncover it and also nudge that person to persuade that person in an ethical and positive way to get out of where they’re in, whether it’s a sale, they’re not making shipping deadlines, or whatever it is, and all of a sudden, you come up with a product or a service, that’s going to get them unstuck. Because if they don’t, they’re companies going out of business. You’re in a relationship with somebody who to where they’re always constantly in this fear, this loop of like, what bad crap is gonna happen to me to us. And now it can, they’re not giving you their entire heart. But now you can be like, hey, that fear is telling you to do something, to ditch that trauma to get help for whatever it is those stories that are in your mind. And now you can throw those aside. Because this relationship will die. It’s done, you will lose that person. 

If you stay in this loop of fear. Now fear is shifted the framing shouldn’t be like, oh, I need to move. Because I want to stay in this. I want to love this person, I want to be in this relationship with them. I want to buy this product or service from this person because I know that it’ll give me to better places with business in my life, and provide a better income for my family, I want to invest in this person in this company. Because if I don’t deploy my money, my money will never grow. And at some point, that actually means that I’m going to lose money. So I’m protecting my portfolio, my investment, my wealth, because I am fearful of losing it, which is why I’m going to invest because I believe that this will actually generate more wealth for me and expand my wealth, expand my portfolio, provide some generational wealth or even just some living income for now. You see how you can change that. I know I’m talking about fear today and how that can be a motivator. But this uncovering of number three here, what motivates them, there can be other things too, there can be reward systems, you know, if somebody loves the journey more, or they love the destination more, that’s different with people. And it can also be different in the situation. 

For real, like right now taking a company public for me. I don’t actually know what the destination is, at some point, people ask that it’s like, Rick, what’s going to be five years from now, seven years from now? What are you looking at? And I’m like, you know, right now, I just took the company public three months ago, I’m learning a hell of a lot. And I’m enjoying this ride. Because even on the days when it’s most stressful right now, when, I mean, going through two simultaneous audits, and working with shareholders, and engaging with the public, and still at the same time trying to run an eight-figure company, as the CEO, you know, there are times where it’s like, geez, I need a drink. But then after that, it’s like, you know, what, all the stress and everything and the education that I’m getting, and the learnings that I have for this, it’s not so much like, Oh, my God, I gotta get out of this. No, because what’s motivating right now is my gratitude. I am grateful that I get to do this because not many people do. That’s a powerful motivator for me is that I get to do things that not many other people get to do that motivate the hell out of me.

Giving you all my secrets today, as I’m going through these things, vulnerability, right? If you want to get depth out of other people, you have to be deep with them. Hands down. If you want people to share with you, you have to be open to sharing with them, you have to be the one that leads in that energy, and you have to be the one that presents yourself first. And that’s the way that you uncover these things about other people, is when you lead the way. Nobody’s gonna do it for you. And if you’re lucky enough to come across somebody like me who’s actually willing to do that and take the first step. Awesome. That’s great. But you know what, most of the time it’s going to depend on you. You’re gonna be the one that needs to take that first step in order to uncover these three secrets, somebody’s values, somebody’s belief, and their motivations in order to go deeper in any sort of engagement or relationship with them. That’s how it goes. Period. End of story. Now, get out there, get to it, and watch this thing. Go All IN