About the Episode:
In today’s episode of ALL IN, we dive deep into the art of preserving our mental energy. We’ve all been there – feeling the need to over-explain our actions, decisions, and intentions to others. But why? I share my personal experiences and the draining effects of constantly managing others’ emotions. We discuss the importance of distinguishing between those who deserve an explanation, those who merit just an answer, and those who don’t warrant our energy at all. It’s time to stop people-pleasing and start focusing on being the best version of ourselves. Let’s go ALL IN on protecting our mental health and energy.
Listen to the podcast here:
Watch the episode here:
- Discover the key to preserving your mental energy.
- Learn how to distinguish between those who deserve your time and those who don’t.
- Understand the pitfalls of over-explaining and managing others’ emotions.
- Gain insights into making intentional decisions without feeling guilty.
- Empower yourself to be the best version of you without the drain of people-pleasing
What’s shakin, hey, I’m Rick Jordan, thanks for being with me. Because today we are going all in. I got excited over that right there. Because today we’re going to talk about GS, people can just get under your skin, right? So today we’re going to talk about mental health rules when it comes to other people. And there’s this thing that comes, it’s like you feel, and I’ve felt at this moment, or moments in time where I’ve wanted to explain myself, to everybody. And it actually became like, over-explaining to a lot of people, it’s just because and I’ll tell you why you get into this mode. For me, it was this, I wanted them to first know that I’m not a jerk, right, that I actually have some kind of compassion. And if they just understood my thought process behind my decision, they would know that I’m not being a jerk about this, because when you do something, people would sometimes think you’re a jerk, because they don’t understand your motivations and your intentions behind it. And sadly, most people do not assume good intentions on everything that people around them do because of trauma, because they’re just cynical people, whatever, right?
So that was the thing. It’s like, I wanted them to understand that I was a good guy, that I wasn’t a jerk. And the second thing is I wanted them to understand that there’s actually like thought process in the first place that went into this, that it isn’t just, you know, that I do what I mean, I say what I mean, and I do things, you know, out of intention all the time, you know, whether it was good or bad, it’s always out of intention. For me, it’s always a good intention, but still, it’s just not making like snap decisions just to make snap decisions like I’m dismissing their emotions or their feelings about something that I’m doing. So I didn’t want to seem dismissive either, like there was actually real, thoughtful thought that goes into my choices and my decisions that I make, because whether they’re like instant decisions, or they take, you know, sleeping on it, they’re still good intentioned, and really thought out thoughts about what I’m actually deciding on, you know, so when this happened, it’s like, I would spend all this energy, right going around just to in this is really what it is going around in managing others emotions, as it pertained to me, right, I wanted to give the right perception of stuff. And I was going about it the wrong way, by over-explaining a lot of these things.
And let me tell you this, it is frickin draining. It is really draining, to try to manage emotions. And the thing is, is that you don’t even really know how that person is going to respond anyways, they might just be like, okay, or that you might go down a deep dark path. But the thing is, is it’s not your responsibility to manage their emotions on this, it takes up so much energy, and you have to preserve your energy for yourself to be the best of who you are. The only way people are going to see really who you are actually see who you are, is when you are the best that you are when you reserve that energy for yourself to be the best not to explain to other people that you are good, but to actually put action into being good. That’s a drain on energy. When you over-explain to people or try to manage their emotions, what you think their response might be, to whatever it is that you’re doing. Now, there’s public perception and PR when it comes to business or politics or, or public figures, whatever I’m not talking about that I’m talking about people around you, right, and trying to manage those things with people that you have relationships with their friendships with or people that work for you, or people that you work for every day.
Life is what I’m talking about. Managing the emotions of others is draining as fuck. And it’s not something to continue doing. It’s something to stop right now. So here’s how you do this, okay, this is these are my rules for mental health rules on preserving your energy. All right, you have to learn to distinguish because as of today, going forward, I want you to do this right say no more people pleasing, say right now no more people pleasing. All right. The second one is, that I will not manage the emotions of others Say it with me, I will not manage the emotions of others. So what you need to do and this is the applicable part of what I’m telling you today to preserve your energy and your mental well-being. So that you have all the energy to focus on being the best you as possible. And then the right people will see that you have to learn to distinguish three things.
The first thing that you have to learn how to distinguish is who deserves an explanation. Now as I was talking before, when I was saying Your man is Seeing the emotions and I would, I would go down the path of over-explaining where I was coming from, you know, but even more so just the explanation in itself. Not everybody deserves an explanation. People that are closest to you that you’re involved in a good relationship with, you know, partner, kids, best friends, whatever, you know, or somebody that you’re trying to do business with, you know, that seems like a really good opportunity that you’re you have this budding, whatever kind of relationship with, whether it’s business, personal, whatever. The first thing is to learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation. Now, that is your choice to figure that out, according to your own ethics, not what somebody else expects of you, because obligation does not belong here. I’m telling you, that obligation does not belong here and learning how to distinguish these things. It’s who you feel ethically, and emotionally deserves an explanation.
That’s the first thing to distinguish his number one, learn to distinguish who needs an explanation. Who deserves an explanation? Right now that need is determined by you, whoever deserves it is determined by you. That’s number one. Number two is learning to distinguish. Who deserves an answer only learns to distinguish number two, who deserves only an answer, not an explanation. But just an answer. Right now, this could be something like people that work for you, or those that you work for is, you know, in a business environment, or when you’re saying yes to a deal or saying no to a deal or, you know, bringing on new customers, whatever it is, is you’re determining and distinguishing who deserves an answer only. Because you do not owe an explanation to everybody. But some people in order to accomplish what you want, according to your own decision, might deserve an answer. Just an answer an answer only. And that’s it, you just give them an answer. And then you move on.
Then you execute you move to the next step. Whatever it is, this is very common in business, right? I loved I at least I used to do the same thing like like over-explaining. And this is something that I’ve learned over the years in business is like, here’s my decision. And then I said, Some people ask why I’m like, this is just my decision, I expect you to to carry it out. There’s a long thought process that’s gone into its, I’m not going to get into that I’m preserving my energy on that because I just need you to execute on what I’ve decided. Yeah, there’s, there are a lot of people who don’t deserve an explanation according to what you have, but you’re distinguishing who deserves at least an answer or an answer only. And that’s cool. That’s number two. So the first one is to learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation. Number two is who deserves an answer only. And then number three is to learn to distinguish who deserves absolutely nothing.
There are a lot of these that are out there, I would guarantee you that this is probably the most of the people that are around you, especially in business, or as you’re going through a huge growth cycle in your life. If you’ve had a lot of friends, you know, if they truly knew you and truly cared about you, they would understand that, Oh, well. There’s just stuff that they’re doing, right? And it’s up to you to decide these three things. And distinguish between these three different types of people who are in your life. Because there are a lot of people, especially as you’re growing on social media and all this other stuff, you got 1000s of friends, you got 1000s of followers, whatever. Not everybody deserves even an answer, let alone an explanation a lot deserve absolutely nothing. And that’s okay because that’s you preserving your energy to be the best that you can then going into an over-explaining mode, where you’re managing others’ expectations over something that may not even be there how they’re feeling, or even if it is, it’s something that will pull away and just suck the energy, the life force right out of you in that moment.
Protecting Your energy is one of your greatest efforts and priorities to have in your life. So preserve your mental health and no more people pleasing learn to distinguish one who deserves an explanation. Number two who deserves an answer only just an answer, and three, who deserves absolutely nothing. GO ALL IN.