About the Episode:
One of my absolute favorite words is “No”. Now, I know it might sound negative to some, but trust me, there’s an empowering side to this word that many overlook. Whether it’s in sales or our personal lives, understanding and embracing the power of “no” has been a game-changer for me and the people I have mentored. This isn’t about pushing people away; it’s about preserving our energy, setting clear boundaries, and focusing on what truly matters to us. I’ll be sharing why it’s essential to be genuine, the pitfalls of making excuses, and the importance of not over-explaining our choices. If you’ve ever found yourself stretched too thin or struggling with the urge to please everyone, this episode is for you. Let’s go ALL IN!
Listen to the podcast here:
Watch the episode here:
- Discover the unexpected power hidden in the word “No”
- Learn how saying “no” can be a tool for personal empowerment and growth.
- Break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and set healthy boundaries.
- Gain insights into maintaining genuine relationships without compromising yourself.
- Equip yourself with practical tips to handle situations with grace and authenticity.
What’s shakin? Hey, I’m Rick Jordan. Today, we’re going all in. I have a really big favorite when it comes to words in the English language. And it’s a word that I learned a little while back. And that word is no. And it’s so powerful across all sorts of different scenarios. I mean, I even do sales training. And this is going to be life-changing for a lot of you today. So and probably for a lot of others. So share this out with a bunch of people also, the power of the word no. And I teach us in sales, where it’s a lot easier to get to a no than it is to a yes. Right? Because no, it actually is comforting. It’s empowering for an individual, it’s protective of what it is. So it’s it’s easy. Like, if you’re asking them, Hey, do you want to move forward with our solution? And you know, you’re asking looking for that? Yes. Or whatever it is, it’s like, is there versus reframing? Because you’re fishing for a yes. In that? Do you want to move forward with our solution service or product? versus asking them?
Hey, you know, is there a reason why you would not want to do this today? Right? You’re trying to get to that, to that know a lot quicker? Because, you know, is this the right time for you right now? And it’s a lot more comfortable for somebody to say, no, no, no, it’s powerful in that sense. But today, what we’re talking about in No, the use of that word is actually empowering you to preserve your energy to free up your space, your bandwidth to be able to do the things that you’re that you’ve agreed to take on responsibility for, that you care about, that will actually advance you in life, get you the things that you want, without having to deal with the people around you, that sometimes might be taking advantage of you or trying to take too much from you. And I want to be clear on this. Because this isn’t like a shun everybody around you. Because I value family values. Friends, I value everybody in my life a value everybody who works for me. And there’s a lot that I give of myself to a lot of people.
That’s just the truth. And I love doing it too. The only way that I can do that, though, in the way that I do and show up for so many, many people is to actually use the word know quite frequently. And I’m going to give you some thoughts and, some ways to navigate the scenarios that you face. When it comes to people asking things of you to where you know, it might not just be the right time for you. Like in the moments, it might not be something that you necessarily agree with, or anything because a lot of this, this is really the way No joke, this is really the the way to kill that people-pleasing mentality that you might have. And I get it, I get it. Because we want people to like us, I understand that everybody has this thing inside of them where they want people to like them. I was just reading an article the other day from the CEO of Spotify, that it’s a scenario that he struggles with, I can’t remember his name. But I remember the tweet about that even Elon Musk responded in like adjusting way saying, Hey, you know what, I got over that a little while back.
Right? This means that even at some point, Elon Musk struggled with this desire for people to like him. And that’s an ego scenario. Right? So when you’re going after stuff, of course, you want people to like it, of course, you want to have grit, really, I’m gonna reframe that for you today. Of course, you want to have good, tight, close relationships with people that you care about. And in order to have people that you care about, you’re probably a good-natured giving person already. And you should never lose that quality. I’m encouraging you today. Never lose the quality of wanting to give to others give things or give of yourself your time, never lose that quality. But in order to actually have that energy and those notions, and that bandwidth in order to give to other people, you have to say no, a lot. When people ask something of you. This was like the art of saying no. Okay, and I’m gonna give you a couple of ways to be able to do this. The first one when this happens is Don’t lie. You know, if you can’t do something, or if it’s going to be a heavy burden for you right now.
You don’t have to lie by saying anything other than just like, No, I’m sorry, I can’t at this moment, or what’s even better, because I don’t even like the cat. No, I’m sorry, I won’t do that right now. And that’s okay. Because rather than saying, Oh, I’ve got this thing going on, you know, or I have to be there someone Hey, can you come over for dinner tonight? Or hey, can we get together for lunch? And like, Oh, I got this thing over here, you know, and you even set up a friend to like, call you and save you. Hey, could you send me a text message right now just to say, you know, something, I just need you to save me from this. Don’t do that. Don’t lie. You don’t need to do that. That’s like giving away your personal power. When you feel like you’re going to do that. And when you do that, when you make up some BS about some other place you have to be or some other thing you have to do, just to get out of somebody else’s presence. You don’t have to do that. That’s giving away your personal power. Number two, on the art of saying no, is you don’t have to make excuses.
So don’t make excuses. You know, so even if there is something legitimate, that’s truthful, you don’t have to make excuses. You know, and here’s, here’s a key for something like this too. When you make excuses, people will pick up on that, and it could be somebody close to you that they’re gonna start to notice the pattern of those things, right? And it’s all because you’re not being forthright with them, to begin with, you might not be lying like number one. But you might always have something else that you might be able to just reprioritize and then all of a sudden becomes way more important than this other thing that you don’t want to do, or you don’t have the time to do. It’s okay. You don’t have to make excuses. You can just be straight up with people, you know, and it’s up to them to be offended or not. Some people will be offended when you say no, no, but that’s not on you and I get it. We’re going back to the beginning. You want people to like you when you want to maintain those close relationships. But trust me, when I say that, people will respect you more.
When you don’t have excuses. You just have straight truths. People respect you more when you do not make excuses. And when you just deliver the straight truth. Because number three in this is the art of saying no. Don’t over-explain yourself. We all have this propensity to do that when we just think that we need to give every reason for this pontification that’s a fun word. By the way, I just heard that this, this elaborate response. That’s what pontification means this elaborate response of why we’re saying no, this elaborate response of why we’re declining some kind of invitation, why we cannot help that individual at this moment in time. You don’t have to over-explain yourself. So don’t over-explain yourself. This is the art of saying no. Now there are certain levels of relationships. And I want to differentiate this right now, there are certain levels and certain degrees of closeness and relationships that you have, you know, because maybe a partner or a spouse, obviously super close to you, because of the relationship and the mutual respect that you have with that individual. Of course, you’re going to give more details in that conversation, right, so that they can understand and that’s actually allowing that person to be able to support you, you know, and also, you’re not trying to manage their emotions by keeping information from them.
That’s a big one because that’s actually a form of control. If you’re not telling somebody something, you know, for a reason to say no, or whatever it is, and you’re not telling somebody who’s super close to you, you’re actually not giving them the respect that they deserve to be able to manage their own response and manage their own remote emotions. And in a roundabout way, you’re actually controlling them by not giving them that information. Now that somebody that I’m talking about who is close to you, somebody, you’re in a very close relationship with a partner, spouse, your kids, BFF, whatever. But then there are degrees that are below that, right? So so the degrees of relationship as they lessen, as the closeness lessens, to maybe just like an acquaintance, or you know, somebody who sits next to you in a cubicle at work, you know, just somebody who’s on your project team, something like that. You don’t need to over-explain yourself. You can just say, I’m sorry, I can’t be there today. And you can just leave it at that. It’s as simple as that. Or, Hey, I’m sorry, I can’t help you today.
That’s it. That’s a no. And that’s all that that person needs. And you get to decide who deserves the depth of response that you can give by how close they are to you to your inner circle in your life in relationship with you. It is super simple. These are very easy ways. If you want to come easy, but at least it’s a place to start for you in the art of saying no is number one Don’t lie. You don’t have to write number two don’t make excuses. And number three, don’t over-explain yourself. You can just simply decline
GO ALL IN.