Transforming Trauma into Triumph | Brandon Burns Part 2

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Episode Topics:

• Discover how Brandon Burns overcame significant childhood trauma and financial hardship.
• Learn about the power of shifting from a victim mindset to one of empowerment.
• Gain insights into turning life’s challenges into opportunities for growth.
• Be inspired by Brandon’s journey from feeling unloved to finding his true worth.
• Understand the importance of making choices that lead to positive change.

 

 

Rick Jordan 

Hey, what’s shakin’? hey, I’m Rick Jordan. Today, we’re going all in. All right, today is a sequel. If you didn’t listen to the first one, that’s fine, you can start with this one and go back. But Brandon Burns is back today, we had such a great conversation, that we actually made this into two episodes because it went amazingly long. And the first time we were talking about coaching, and Keynote, speaking a bunch of cool tips for everybody. And now, we’re gonna we’re gonna shift gears a little bit. So Brandon, let’s get right back into it, man. There’s something that I that I caught in your bio that I do want to get, get into here a little bit because it was about family trauma during your childhood, and being able to overcome a victim mindset. And there’s something that you said that it believes in right is where you have to believe what you’re saying, right? I actually had one of those snippets you were talking about. On my own content a little bit ago, it’s like, you have to believe what you’re saying before people are believing what you’re saying. Yeah, so it’s good. It’s, it applies. And when you’re in a victim mindset, I believe it’s impossible to do that to actually believe what’s coming out of your own mouth. Because no matter what, you’re always going to revert back to this phase where everything else is what’s doing things to you, rather than you choosing to continue to stay in that same spot, without making the change that you need to be in a different place. Though, can we dive deep? What is the childhood trauma man that you had?

 

Brandon Burns 

Yeah, it was it was a few different things from a couple of different angles. So first and foremost, my biological father left before I was born. So I think there’s a little bit of a hole there of why didn’t the person who should have loved me the most not think that I was worth sticking around for right? it to a point where in my mind, I was like, Okay, you didn’t even give me a chance to quote-unquote, win you over, which is a crazy thing to even think about. But I remember as young as eight, or nine years old, I had those sorts of ideas. Then you add on financial stress, right? I grew up in a two-parent household because my stepfather actually stepped into our family also, before I was born, so to me, that’s my dad through and through can never repay him for what he’s done for me and raised me like his own. That’s cool. But you know, still, we never as a family made more than 60,000 bucks a year combined Mom and Dad, Mom got sick, with an incurable autoimmune disease that took her income away. Dad got laid off when I was still pretty young. He was driving trucks for a while so and my mom again, autoimmune disease. My dad, like I said, stepdad, but I call him dad. He’s had cancer twice. And so when he got medical bills that piled up 60 grand didn’t go that far, right? And I remember literally sitting in my room as a kid one day, probably 1213 years old, and asking God like, why, why us? 

 

You know, my mom would get phone calls from the car collection agency, hey, you’re late on your car payment, we’re looking for your car. And now we’re gonna come take it off the street and tow it away. And thankfully, that never happened. We always had a roof over our heads, because we could always eat but I remember seeing the tears fall from my mom’s eyes and having that affect me so much and me going God why, like, why is this happening to these good people? Yeah, so financial stress, feeling like I didn’t belong, feeling like I wasn’t loved by somebody who should have. And then just being a misfit man, I mean, your male gymnast in Alabama? Yeah, there’s not a whole lot of people around that are super supportive of that, you know, there’s fewer stereotypes and stigmas and everything else that don’t even apply to me. But when you’re nine years old. Right, right, exactly. It’s like if you’re gonna get bullied, that’s like, prime suspect right there. And I was super shy, I was an introverted kid, literally, to the point where when I was 21 years old, as a senior at Michigan, I would have panic attacks on the first day of class, because I would have to stand up and say, Hi, I’m Brandon. I’m studying economics and psychology, like super social anxiety. So the fact that I’m a speaker now is just a testament to the change that somebody can actually have in their life. But I think you said an important word with all that, which is a choice. You have to make a choice to take a chance to create a change if you don’t make the choice. You like, what’s the alternative? Because here’s what happens. People are so enamored by their comfort zone, that they literally will sacrifice the version of them that they could be at the altar of their comfort zone. Like you it is so scary to you to take that step to just say, Hey, I wonder what’s out here for me. I wonder if I just push all this stuff aside? And just try to see what I can make myself. Right. And yes, you’re absolutely right. But people who love you, they weren’t there for you. That sucks. And that’s real. That’s not an excuse. That’s real. You grew up broke, that’s real. But guess what? What are you going to do about it? You know, and the people who are willing to step up and make that choice. It’s incredible what can happen with their lives.

 

Rick Jordan 

That’s brilliant man. So coming back from that, because you talked about financial stress even growing up right, and I can relate to that a bit. It’s like my dad used to say he was that he had the best part-time job in the world. You know, really Never made more than 40k. But he was always around the right great, great foundation. And my mom, she would watch kids in her house to help make ends meet. You know, it was like a daycare in my home for six or seven years with another like eight to 10 kids at any point in time. It’s like, I look back on it. And even though I know the details of those things, to where it’s the church would bring us food, right when we needed it. And there were several Christmases where the church would even like to drop off Christmas gifts, because there wasn’t money to even exchange, right? We just came out at Christmas, at least when this has been published anyway. So it makes sense. It’s like, most people go into debt. But there wasn’t even the debt that was available to buy all these things right to go into debt. How did that affect you? Because for me, I’ll give you an example. The only thing my parents ever fought over was money, period, otherwise amazing marriage. Right? So that’s something that I recognize and it drove me to be like, I just never want to have to worry about it, would it be able to spread it around to everybody else? So I can affect most people to where they don’t have to worry about it either. Especially obviously the the core family that I’m responsible for? How did it affect you in that stress growing up?

 

Brandon Burns

Man, it’s kind of funny, because I didn’t realize that it affected me at all until maybe three or four years ago. So I grew up, of course, being in that environment. That was what was normal to me. And of course, all the friends that I was around neighbors, and anything else, were in the exact same situation that I was, so I never really recognized that that was different. As a matter of fact, I remember my dad has always been into airplanes and stuff. He was an aerospace engineer. And we were living in Huntsville, right over the flight path for Huntsville airport. And every once in a while, you see these big 740 sevens go directly over our little 900-square-foot house. And you can feel the house shake. So you knew that they were coming. And my dad and I would always get up and run outside. And I thought it was the coolest thing ever. And I just point up there and look at it. And looking back on it. I remember thinking even as a kid six, or seven years old, that’s how rich people travel. We don’t do that. And I never thought I was going to get on an airplane. I was 18 by the time I got on an airplane for the first time. And I paid for the ticket myself from the coaching job that I had coaching gymnastics. And so there was always that separation of them. And us right? 

 

I think another time that comes to mind where that separation really became clear was when I had one friend who was a little bit more well-off. I don’t know how much his parents made probably, you know, two 300 grand a year or something like that. But they lived in the nicer neighborhood in Huntsville, Alabama, that’s enough to get you into the nicer neighborhood, right? And I remember one time I invited my friend who was my age over to my house for you know, to hang out. And his parents said, Well, we’re not really comfortable with him going to your neighborhood. But you can always come over to our house anytime you want. And again, even as a kid, you’re like, that hurts your ego a little bit. You’re like, Oh, am I not worthy? Am I not enough? My not okay is something wrong with us, you know. And it just gives you that feeling of us versus them. I didn’t realize how much it affected me. And so three years ago, or four years ago, when I got linked up with Eric Thomas Jamal King, and all these other people who all of a sudden to them eight figures is like, Oh, well, this is normal. And that was a crazy thing to happen in my head coming from where I came from Oh, you mean to tell me that you guys fly private. And that’s not a thing. You don’t have to pull your phone out and take a picture of the jet. It’s just the way that you live. That changed everything for me. So now that I look back on it, now that I’ve got a little bit more conscious awareness of everything that happened, I think it instilled a drive that it was never going to be us in them ever again. It was just gonna be it’s just us, it’s just part of, I can go back there. And love those same people who come from those sorts of environments, and I can get it, I can understand it. And then I can hang out with the people on private jets and I can completely belong and not feel out of place there too. I think it gave me a drive to eliminate that dividing line between us. 

 

Rick Jordan

That’s cool. That I’m gonna I’m gonna flip this real quick. You could call a devil’s advocate or whatever, because there is the the opposite experience, right? Not yours, but those that you used to hang out with when you were young too. Because now that you’ve ascended into an area where you have some money, right, everybody sees you as the same as they see me it’s like, Oh, those are the rich guys. Yeah, right. And it almost in the opposite perspective eliminates the relatability because I just don’t understand, right, like where you came from, or like me when I had no electricity for three days when my twins were born and laid off with zero income whatsoever and a 900 square foot condo and a family of four. It’s like those are the stories you know, I’m always curious to find out how everyone else helps still try to make that bridge. How do you try to do that so that you can be relatable, whether it’s on stage or anything else to what they’re going through?

 

Brandon Burns

Yeah, so it’s something that another one of my speaking mentors, her name is Valerie Humphries. She was one of the head coaches of one of ET’s speaking programs where he teaches speakers and that kind of thing. One thing that she told me very, very early on in my career was, that you have to get through your story to get to your story. Meaning if you don’t make that transformation, and you don’t make peace with where you came from and where you’re at now, then you’ll never be able to relay that to an audience. Because words can be empty words can be hollow, if you just try and make up some sob story about this is where I came from. Ho,wever if you don’t genuinely make peace with, Hey, here’s my story, this really happened, you’re never going to be able to connect with an audience with that same story. And also, you’re not going to be comfortable even saying it. So I think to answer your question, it’s a matter of just being authentic and being vulnerable. And really getting the stories out there and telling people, Hey, I didn’t come from money wasn’t born for money was born with zero exposure. I never knew anybody who made six figures or seven or anything like that. When I was growing up, I was hanging out with a bunch of other people who probably never thought they would fly on an airplane at one point either. I’m talking about Spirit Airlines, by the way, I’m not talking about flying private, like, I didn’t think that I would be able to fly on an airplane. Right?

 

I think it’s just it’s telling people those stories, and being vulnerable and authentic enough to where people can see themselves where you were. And at that point, that’s what makes you relatable to all these people on Instagram who are renting a Lamborghini for a day, and they take pictures with it, and they try and sell you a course. And they don’t tell you their story. Don’t stay away from those people. Because it’s not, they don’t know. They don’t they don’t know actually how to get you from point A to B. They just don’t know how to do it. But it’s like if that’s the version of yourself that you’re trying to portray on social media. If you’re trying to portray this perfect lifestyle where you have no flaws. You don’t ever lose your temper. You’ve never been broke, you’ve never done anything wrong. You’ve never made a mistake. Nobody can relate to that. Like you’re not Jesus. Nobody relates to that. People need somebody that they can relate to. And so when you’re willing to show them that you’re a real person, that’s how you get buy-in.

 

Rick Jordan 

That’s funny. You’re not Jesus. That’s a great quote to pull out from this.

 

Brandon Burns 

And you’re never gonna be so stop trying. 

 

Rick Jordan 

Yeah, no joke. I’ve had a blocked two parking lots before and had individuals because I, I had an Aston Martin up until just a couple of months ago when I did it. I traded it for a BMW XM. It’s like a Batmobile. I love it. Right? It was a good trade, especially living in Chicago when I can only drive the ass and like five or six months out of the year, you know, I got to be annoying during the colder months, leases, I can drive but I would walk out and a number of specific time at Costco. Yes. Millionaire CEOs shop at Costco still, you know, but that’s the point. It’s like we still do we still do everyday normal stuff, too. You know, walking outside, they’re like, Hey, someone just was taking pictures with themselves in your car. I just wanted to let you know. Like, that’s okay. They’re probably an online coach. I did that. Yeah, the quote-unquote, yeah. But the authenticity man, that’s so important. Because I believe this is relevant, not just for speakers, not just for coaches, what you’re saying, but literally, for everybody, even in on one conversation. Because if you’re looking to move into a new place in your life, you have to incorporate who you were. You take the learnings from that I’m sure you’ve had it man, where you’ve heard that there’s almost like people have lived two different lives. It’s like it will really say, but I’m not that person anymore. It’s like, you are that person, you are now a grown and evolved version of that person. It’s not that you’re not that person anymore. Because if you exclude what you were, it completely minimizes all the growth and everything you’ve been able to accomplish. In the meantime, to get to where you are, you need to acknowledge that you still are that person from 10 years ago. At your core, you have just grown and had better behaviors and become more enlightened, and have some growth of your heart, your emotions, your behaviors, everything. Since that point in time. I don’t know if you’re taking notes right now you seem to be

 

Brandon Burns  

you know, I’m pulling up. Just because you mentioned you’re your foreign pastor. Right,

 

Rick Jordan 

almost. You’re allowed to use this right? Yeah,

 

Brandon Burns

right. That’s trademarked. Let me go, let me go. But

 

Rick Jordan

think about if you didn’t incorporate who you were, you wouldn’t be able to tell your story right now, you probably wouldn’t even be able to have a relevant conversation with somebody at a coffee house. Everything would be so superficial. If all you do is talk about what you are today, almost pretending like you didn’t exist 10 years ago. Yeah,

 

Brandon Burns

I mean, there’s no depth to that. And as you were speaking, it reminded me of the Scripture. And this is not like a bible thumper type of thing. This is just something that came to mind, I think it’s a fundamental truth, whether you believe in the rest of the story or not. But this is from Philippians 413. Right? And that’s the one that everybody knows, which is I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Nobody ever quotes for 12 I think that’s really interesting because for 12 is what gives you the context for for 13 for 12 says, I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I’ve learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living and play and tea or in want, I can do all things through him that gives me strength. And it’s like if you don’t learn to appreciate the times where you’re in want the times where you’re where you’re in need the times where you’re hungry, then how in the world can you claim to have any sort of insight or depth of wisdom for it for the other side of the spectrum, right? If you just want to get rid of all those experiences, then you’re getting rid of a core part of the growth and development process that made you the person that you are today who is even worthy of living in that abundance. So you’re spot on with that you can’t just discard half of your freakin life like it didn’t exist. No

 

Rick Jordan 

joke, dude, I love that you’re quoting that too, because coming from the pastoral realm, the misquotes and everything that was taken out of context, which that’s what that is, right? And, you know, again, it’s not as you said, it’s not a bible thumper show. But just imagine this, right? We talked about the victim mindset, if you are only hanging on Philippians 413, and saying that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me you’re just saying, What’s the opposite of that? Right? You’re just saying that you can’t do anything unless there’s like some kind of divine intervention. But what if that divine intervention was actually like a divine partnership and everything that precedes that verse saying you know what, I’ve been through a bunch of crap. I’ve learned from my mistakes, and recognize that I actually had everything I needed to begin with because it was already provided to me. I just had to get out of my own shit and move to a point where I recognized that. God, you already gave me everything. I’ve been blind to it. I’ve been avoiding it. Because I’ve just been hanging on this one thing about saying, Oh, come in and save me. And he said, there’s like, already dead. It’s past tense. I already did. I wish he would just open your eyes and be like, Hey, you got everything right there, you still have the responsibility to make the choice, you know that free will thing it’s on you right now to make the move.

 

Brandon Burns 

I got a buddy who’s he’s a celebrity personal trainer. And he told me one time that faith moves mountains the same way that a bicycle moves mountains, you get on your bicycle, and you start pedaling, and all of a sudden, the mountains move underneath you, but only because you were pedaling, if you don’t do your part of it. You can’t sit around and just pray. I mean, hey, listen, prayer is great. Visualization is great. Affirmations are great. Like all the personal development, Guru stuff is great. But if you don’t do something it doesn’t have to be a monumental step. Right. One of the things that I said to the audience this past weekend was no brand new parent, and I don’t have kids yet. But of course, coaching kids all my entire life, I kind of get it. But no new parent would ever go look at their infant child or their toddler. And on their very first step, their first day walking, say, Oh, you didn’t set a new record in the 40-yard dash, trash, bring it back, right? I don’t even want anymore. Here’s terrible, you suck. It’s like, dude, the universe or God, or whatever you want to call it is looking for baby steps. It’s looking for you to take the first step. And then it’s going to help you something. He says all the time. If you have a car break down, and you’re just sitting there, you got your thumb out of the window, how likely is somebody to stop their car and get out there and help you? Pretty, pretty small likelihood. If they see you out and you’re pushing that thing, everybody’s going to want to come and help you because they see that you’re taking that first step. You don’t have to say, how do I go from broke to seven figures in three months? You don’t have to say how do I go from Super obese and overweight to losing 200 pounds in three months? You just have to say how can I put myself in a marginally better position that is more conducive for success than what I currently have right now and forget I want to cuss too much? Forget all the excuses. Forget all the real-life reasons that are probably completely valid and completely true of why you’re in the circumstances situation and just say, You know what, let’s figure out what I can do to not sit here and cry about it and just get 1% better. And then you do that every single day. You look back a year from now five years from now, you won’t even recognize yourself. And the bigger piece of it is the empowerment that you’re going to get from understanding that you had that level of control the entire time.

 

Rick Jordan 

Man Brandon burns everybody. Take his words apply them to your life and watch things change for you. Dude, where can everybody find the best place you’ve inspired me today that was fire by the way

 

Brandon Burns 

I appreciate that. I am B. Burns is pretty much everywhere. I try to keep it simple. All the different social media, the website, it’s all I am b burns.

 

Rick Jordan 

I love a man. Thanks so much for coming on. Dude, this was amazing. Man.

 

Brandon Burns 

I appreciate the opportunity. And I would just encourage the audience one more time. Anything that I said or anything that Rick said, Please don’t just listen to it and go wow, that was really deep. Go take action on it. Take one little thing. Pick it out from this podcast. Go take action on it. Do the same thing again tomorrow which can change your life